What to do when your FWB turns out to have a girlfriend? Or does he?
January 18, 2013 5:58 PM Subscribe
FWB: It's fun and easy and we seem to have no problem keeping it casual-- turns out that's probably because he has a girlfriend!
posted by anonymous to human relations (43 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I was contacted by my FWB's "girlfriend," telling me that it was over between them because he kept cheating on her with me. I had no clue he was in a relationship and looking back I am confused because sometimes we would see each other several nights a week or even spend an entire weekend together. How could he have time to be in a genuine relationship? She said they tried to 'make it work' despite the affair but now their 2 year relationship is over. FWIW I have been involved with him for nearly 1 year myself, which she clearly does not know.
I confronted him about it- he was totally blase and claimed that he knew she had stronger feelings for him, than he did for her, that he was not her boyfriend, but that she was his other FWB. I then asked him if he was going to continue to see her, he said I don't know- wtf!
I'm so confused. With me he was pretty straight forward, we agreed to a sexual, but casual relationship that was explicitly not exclusive. So on one hand I don't feel wronged- on the other hand, I have a hard time dismissing this woman's claim, although there is no way for me to verify or disprove it. In a way it's just as bad to cheat on your girlfriend as it is to string along someone you know has serious feelings for you.
So now I feel very suspicious and that I cannot trust what he says. I am unable to reconcile the possibility that he has had a girlfriend this whole time with my perception of him as a person. When I confronted him, he did not seem nervous or uncomfortable-- in other words he didn't act like he'd been caught.
I don't know who to believe. If she was truly his girlfriend, this is not a person I would even be friends with, never mind the benefits! If they were fwb and she fell for him then that's a different situation. . .
Should I just drop him? Is there any way to get at the truth?