January 18, 2013 8:38 AM Subscribe
My boyfriend of four months just told me he loves me. I don't love him, and I don't think I will in the future, but I do LIKE him. Now what?!
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (41 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
We are compatible in many ways, especially sexually- this is the first truly fulfilling sexual relationship either one of us has had. And I like a lot of things about him. But there are also things about him that I know I couldn't accept in a life partner, and while I like him and enjoy our time together, I don't think I will ever fall in love with him. Once my initial lustful infatuation died down a bit, I realized this, but I didn't want to break up either, because I was enjoying myself.
He said last night that he loves me, and that I didn't have to say anything. I didn't. (In one past relationship I said "I love you" when it wasn't really true... never again.) He also said something like "I'll always care for you even if we don't wind up staying together" which makes me suspect that he sort of can tell where I'm at.
This morning everything was fine and normal, but... I mean, now what? I would be happy to just keep things where they were, but that's not really possible, is it? But I don't want to break up... but I don't want to lead him on... ugh! I guess at this point, I just want to do whatever will minimize the emotional damage to him, while staying true to my own desires- whether that means breaking up or having A Talk or just waiting to see what happens next...
What on earth do I do about this?