My friend kicked me out, and I work with her. Help?
January 16, 2013 11:44 AM Subscribe
I woke up this morning to find a letter on the door of the room I'd been staying in, reading: "Your time is up. I want you out of my house. No matter how you take this, I want you out of my house. I don't care who you have to call, but you must be out by today. Your stuff is already outside in the living room." She was the one who let me in after this situation
occurred. I have work at 4, she will be there, and all I want to do is scream and call out sick.
posted by Ashen to human relations (97 answers total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
Long wall of text ahead:
We experienced quite a bit of tension leading up to this morning. Two weekends ago, her mother sat me down and gave me a stern lecture about how I wasn't working hard enough to get out, and that I needed to just suck it up and work three jobs. Whatever it took to get out. My friend, while we were on the way to work, hit me with a "don't ask us for rides anymore, for any reason" speech. Which I took quite poorly, but eventually recovered from. I had been making a consistent effort to stay out of their way: coming in only at times when I knew they'd be awake, asking for rides only if backed into a corner, and generally altering my schedule so that if I needed them, it was only a matter of me tagging along on their car ride back home. I paid for my own food, offered repeatedly to pay a portion of the utility bills, and cleaned the house whenever I had free time. I washed their dishes, cleaned up after them in the bathroom, whatever it took to make sure that they knew that I appreciated what they did. I kept the music volume low in my room, made little noise, didn't cook or blow-dry my hair after they fell asleep, and respected their rules about who among my friends could be in their house.
But the hostility towards my being there grew. They made frequent jokes about kicking me out. It hit a peak when my friend demanded that I walk to work - a commute that takes me an hour - rather than allow me to ride with her, even though there was only a 15-minute gap between her starting work time and mine (I would have been 15 minutes late with the blessing of my managers, and she always arrives 15 minutes before the start of her shift).
My parents have graciously taken me back in, although I now owe them $50 a week in rent and I'm still not allowed to have a key. My best friend took her dad's truck and helped me move out of the place. My (now ex) friend was gone when I got the letter, but returned shortly after I called her asking for an explanation. My dad - who bought them an expensive $200 blender for Christmas, as a thank you - tried to comfort her for whatever reason. My best friend tells me that she kept saying "she has a lot of issues that she needs to work out at home, not in someone else's house."
I have work with her at 4pm today. I need the job, so I can't just quit, although my managers obviously don't know what's going on and will continue to schedule us to work together (I had requested similar work schedules, as to avoid inconveniencing her). I'm still in shock, and I don't know how to handle this. Not only do I now have to think about finding better work (something that I have had TERRIBLE luck with), as well as managing the old issues with my parents (which my friend knew about)...but now I have to keep all of this contained long enough to work a 5-hour shift with her. And despite all of this, she acted as if her kicking me out wasn't a big deal, and simply said "if you aren't going to be friends with me over this, then fine."
What do I do? How do I clear my head?
If you need any clarification, I'll answer them - I just can't think straight right now and don't know if I need to include any other details.