How to feel good about my financial independence?
January 16, 2013 7:37 AM Subscribe
This could come across as a stupid question to many people but I'd like to know how I can "feel & think better" about my financial independence from my partner. Sometimes I get a nagging feeling inside that I'd be a happier person if my partner just took care of everything and I didn't have to work so damn hard. I know I should embrace the fact that I have financial independence, am debt-free, good with money, savings and so on and feel good about being able to take care of myself.
posted by anonymous to Work & Money (21 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
To date my partner & I have kept very separate our incomes, debts, costs, savings, with no shared assets and so on. He half owns and is positively gearing a leased apartment. I'm not involved in any property but manage my own investment funds that are all doing well. We would like to buy some property together at some point in the near future.
My partner is in a moderate but manageable amount of debt (in addition to his property mortgage which is positively geared), as he doesn't choose to work F/T (his idea of lifestyle balance) he takes alot longer to pay off his debts and the way he tends to cashflows things is that he's constantly scraping along on his last few pennies. I on the other hand tend to work like a horse to repay any debts and then just save save save for no reason inparticular with loads of reserve backup at any point in time. It often drives me bats that he is always on his last few dollars because it limits what we can and can't do together and leads to arguments about how we manage shared expenses. Im finding it hard to come to terms with our different views on all this, mostly in light of our expecting our first child in about 10 weeks.
Around the time of baby arriving we'll switch to mainly the one income (his) for probably 1 maybe 2 years. He won't be supporting the 3 of us fully but a pretty high percentage of his income will be supporting us. I'm not worried too much about cashflow while I'm off work as I think we'll be well-supported, I am worried about his level of acceptance and attitude towards his new role. I have also developed some mild anxiety that, whilst he has alot of qualifications that should enable him into better jobs, he has been unable to source better (more meaningful & better paid) work over the last 2 years. He is stuck in a lowly paid, semi-shitkicker (his words) job. This is due to his lack of industry work experience and his age. I am 11 years younger than he and have always had the higher paid job with better long-term job prospects, this is maybe skewing my view on reality a bit.
Basically, I just want to understand how to better respect his financial choices, feel good about my financial independence and also better support him with his long-term work pursuits, in view of our new family unit?