Boyfriend? What's a boyfriend?
January 15, 2013 2:16 PM Subscribe
How to introduce boyfriend to son after a divorce. Personal experiences as the girlfriend, boyfriend, or the child? Advice?
posted by youdontmakefriendswithsalad to human relations (19 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
I'm 43 and have been separated/divorced since April 2011. I started dating someone in September 2011. It started very casual but, more than a year later, is exclusive and serious.
Up until recently, my son didn't know my boyfriend existed because our custody is 50/50 so I only have my son every other weekend and 2 or 3 nights during the week; thus, I confined my dating life to the times my son wasn't around. However, in September 2012, I introduced my boyfriend to my son but not with the label "boyfriend." My son and I often do things with other families (including other single parents) so it wasn't unusual that we'd be going to the movies or to the museum with another father and son (his son is 11). When around the kids, my boyfriend and I act as friends -- not as partners. However, we are serious enough that I would like to hold my boyfriend's hand and give him a kiss on the cheek when we are together. I'd like my son to know that he is, in fact, my boyfriend. I fully intend to be with this man for the foreseeable future but I do not intend to ever re-marry so waiting until we are engaged is not an option. Has anyone had a similar experience either as the one doing the introductions, the one being introduced or the child of a divorce being introduced to a boyfriend or girlfriend? Any suggestions on the best way to do this?
A few other facts. First, there will be no sleepovers even after my boyfriend is introduced as such. That will not happen while my son lives in my house. Second, although my son's dad left us for another woman, that quickly broke up and he has not dated anyone seriously since.