Do I give up on bosses too easily?
January 14, 2013 3:03 PM Subscribe
I feel like I have become completely unwilling to work for people if I don't think highly of them, and I can't decide whether I have justifiably high standards or am being unreasonable.
posted by eseuss to Human Relations (10 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
Over 20 or so years of working full-time, I spent 15 of those years in just two jobs, and I've always thought of myself as someone who holds jobs for a long time. I've been good at what I do, and have always left jobs voluntarily, with glowing recommendations. However, in the last few years, I've become increasingly unable/unwilling to tolerate managers with certain characteristics, mostly revolving around how they treat staff and how they communicate, and I have left several jobs specifically for that reason, probably burning some bridges as I go. I haven't regretted leaving, so I have told myself that it was the right decision each time, but the pattern sometimes worries me.
Some of this change might just be me getting older and more clear about what's important to me, and some of it may be that I (very luckily) have a supportive partner who cares more about me being happy than whether I'm working. We have a young child, and they are my priority. But it is bothering me. I have very little drama in my personal life - stable relationship, deep and supportive friendships, good communication - but those are relationships I have chosen. It worries me that I've somehow become unable to cope with non-chosen work relationships that don't meet my ideals. I know my patience is worn somewhat thin from dealing with my child, and that definitely lowers my tolerance for dealing with other annoying people. I'm just having a hard time judging where that line is between justifiable high standards and unreasonableness on my part.
Eventually this may be something I take to therapy, but meanwhile I'm just interested in other perspectives. I'm wondering if other people have noticed this same change in themselves, and if so, what if anything they have done about it?