Are diaphragms a good idea?

August 29, 2005 11:15 PM

A question about birth control: I'm considering getting a diaphragm, and I'm wondering how easy they are to use.

I'm going to visit my long distance boyfriend soon, and am thinking about getting some new kind of contraception. In the start we used condoms, but the truth of the matter is that we stopped using them a while ago and have been relying on withdrawal for some time. I know. Bad.

So anyway, rather than continue to pretend to ourselves that we'll use condoms when clearly we won't, I'm considering other methods. I've done a lot of internet research, and it seems like a diaphragm might be the go (hormonal methods aren't great because I'm prone to anxiety and they affect my mood).

My question is: how easy are diaphragms to use, and what side effects are there? I've read a million fact sheets, but I'm more looking for personal stories. Are they hard to put in or take out? Do they make you smell funny? Are they uncomfortable? Can you (or your partner) feel them during sex? If you have sex a couple of times a day, and you have to keep it in for six hours after the sex, it is okay if you just take it out to clean it and then put it back in?

Forgive my long list of questions. I've never really considered diaphragms before... I always thought of them as something women used before the pill came along!

Other info: I'm in my early 30s, have never been pregnant, we've both been tested for STIs, and I'm not in the USA.

posted by anonymous to health & fitness (10 comments total)

I used one for several years. Occasionally it was easy to put in, but more often than not (or so it seemed) it ended up taking multiple tries, often involving me cursing loudly in the bathroom while the damn thing popped out of my hand and rolled under the sink yet again. Once it was in, though, it felt completely fine. I can't remember the rules about when you can take it out after you have sex (or have sex again within a certain period of time), but that's all made very clear with the info sheet that comes with it. All-in-all, though, I wasn't wild about it, and eventually switched back to condoms (and later went back on the pill).

Are you in a location where the contraceptive sponge is available? I've never used it, but from what I understand it's supposed to be much easier than a diaphragm to insert.
posted by scody at 11:37 PM on August 29, 2005

I've used a diaphragm on and off for 19 years. It's not hard to put in, but you can't be squeamish about touching yourself. You sort of fold the thing in half (the ring flexes), and slide it it until it covers your cervix, then you let go and it sort of suctions into place. I used to attempt to break the suction with my index finger to make sure it was firmly in place. Also, you need to relax to get it in and out.

I suppose a partner could feel it during sex, if he hit the ring or something, but it fits pretty flush against you, and would probably be hard to discern with the head of a penis. My boyfriend couldn't feel it, anyway. It didn't smell weird, but the spermicide can be irritating/annoying. If you've been wearing it for 24 hours and fucking like monkeys, you might want to shower anyway (see: irritating spermicide).

If you have sex a couple of times a day, you can just keep it in and add more spermicide. You don't have to take it out every six hours. In fact, I wouldn't, in case you've still got some live sperm in there. Just keep adding spermicide. I've worn mine overnight.

The downsides: If you're prone to urinary tract infections, the spermicide and diaphragm can be really irritating. The wire rim also sometimes springs out of your hands and flies across the room, and it will always land jelly side down.

I have an IUD now.
posted by astruc at 11:42 PM on August 29, 2005

Well, just as a matter of spontaneity and convenience, I'd say diaphragms are way worse than condoms. They're also not as effective a barrier method.

My personal experience with them has just been very subpar. But I can't see too much downside to giving it a trial run at least (maybe initially along with a condom just in case you run into problems).
posted by drpynchon at 11:44 PM on August 29, 2005

According to this chart from the FDA, diaphragm and withdrawal have about the same failure rate (20%). If you're serious about not getting pregnant, you might rethink your method.
posted by footnote at 7:47 AM on August 30, 2005

I've had one for about 15 years and I like it. You do have to really get to know how to insert it, because nothing kills spontaneity like you laughing helplessly in the bathroom as the damn thing springs across the room for the third time. So, given your situation, make sure you allot enough time to practice before you go see your boyfriend. You will figure it out eventually. Taking it out is pretty easy compared to putting it in, but yes, for both you have to be comfortable with your body.

Once you have it in you can't feel it, he can't feel it and you can keep on going, as astruc said, with added spermicide, forever. I am prone to UTIs but I have never noticed any extra problems with the diaphragm, although maybe I just never related the two. The sponge, on the other hand, used to give me yeast infections, which I never get otherwise.

Oh and NO, you can NOT take it out to clean it before 6 hours is up. It is crucial that it stay in there for those 6 hours, killing & blocking sperm. Don't worry, though, you really won't know it's in there and it doesn't feel all icky and it doesn't make you smell bad. Also, it works nicely as a block from the other direction during your period.
posted by mygothlaundry at 8:12 AM on August 30, 2005

If you have sex a couple of times a day, you can just keep it in and add more spermicide. You don't have to take it out every six hours.

I wouldn't leave it in too long, as it can cause toxic shock syndrome. But in general, once it's in it's totally painless and you can't feel it at all. Getting it in is pretty tough, but I think it's worth it - condoms are the worst!

Totally double up on the spermicide, too!
posted by WaterSprite at 8:31 AM on August 30, 2005

I'm not sure that the science is clear that extra spermicide helps, or that spermicide even helps at all:

"Diaphragms are always used with spermicides, although it is not at all clear how much extra protection the spermicide provides."

Brazilian study suggesting that continuous use of diaphragm alone more effective than use with spermicide for intercourse only.

"Clinical practice has established the need for concurrent use of a spermicide with the diaphragm, although a recent Cochrane review noted that studies have failed to prove or disprove the contraceptive contribution of the spermicide."
posted by footnote at 9:10 AM on August 30, 2005

Some men are sensitive to spermacide--it can have a numbing effect on the penis (and the mouth), and can even cause cold-sore-like lesions on the penis.

So I hear.

Other than that, there really aren't any downsides for the guy. He'll feel it only if it's inserted incorrectly, which is a good thing.
posted by MrMoonPie at 10:07 AM on August 30, 2005

I've found that the spermicides disrupt the natural flora in the vaginal tract, big time. I had to stop using my diaphram because I kept getting yeast infections. Ugh.

Condoms are way way way easier to use, and more effective.
posted by Specklet at 10:36 AM on August 30, 2005

re you in a location where the contraceptive sponge is available? I've never used it, but from what I understand it's supposed to be much easier than a diaphragm to insert.

This is just an anecdote, but in my life I have known four women who became pregnant while using birth control.

All four used the sponge.
posted by anastasiav at 9:56 PM on September 2, 2005