A swaddling predicament.

January 11, 2013 6:35 AM

We're late to swaddle. After one successful swaddle, our son has decided that now is the week to start rolling over. I'm terrified that he will not be able to wake us if his arms aren't out right himself, but the Moro reflex still wakes him. Help us figure out this Catch-22 of swaddling.

The first week our son was born, we tried swaddling to horrible, disastrous results (this was based on horrible and inaccurate information we got from our stay at the hospital) and had not revisited it until just this week when he's now 3 1/2 months old. Since we weren't swaddling, we started sleeping in this order (at birth): on me (I'd lay on a loveseat propped up with pillows so it was impossible for me to roll over), in a swing, in a rock and play, and now we are attempting to graduate to his crib and sleeping completely flat.

The very first night we swaddled, he slept 8 hours, completely undisturbed and hadn't moved, except for his head. Great, right?

The next night, he woke several times because the binky had fallen out and he had crumpled into a ball a few times. After replacing the binky, rocking back to sleep, replacing him the crib again only to wake several more times, we gave up and put him back in his rock and play, swaddled. He slept until we had to go to work.

Every night since after the first successful swaddling has been pretty up and down and ends with him going back in his rock and play until we wake for work. I've tried several combinations of sleep attire underneath the swaddle itself (we're using a Halo sleep sack) in an effort to keep his temperature absolutely perfect. Nothing seems to make a huge difference except for an additional hour or two.

Last night marked a milestone (I think): rolling over. He did not roll all the way over, just on his side. However, this caused him to wake, and subsequent times after replacing the binky he would roll over and wake himself. So now I am conflicted in that it's great that he's rolling over, but we were so late to the swaddling game that I think we've missed our window. He still has trouble with the Moro reflex waking him up, and to top it off, his forehead has been itchy with a mild case of cradle cap.

I want to keep swaddling but various combinations of attire and bedsheets don't really seem to make any difference. Ideally I'd like to get him to repeat the first wonderful 8 hours of sleep swaddling every night. I know there are tons of swaddling options out there, but I am terrified of him rolling over and not being able to alert us before it's too late (yes, we have a baby monitor, but despite its loudest setting, I remain ever vigilant to the point of forced insomnia). Since he has been rolling to his side the past few nights, I have been laying awake just so that I can hear him when he moves. I read this thread and several others already. I haven't slept very well since the first night of successful swaddling. I'm exhausted. Obviously this can't continue, but I am stuck with how to proceed since the Moro reflex still wakes him. When he is at the babysitter, he lays flat and swaddled in a knitted blanket that I made for him in a pack and play for his naps. He's been ok for these, but it's night time when we really go to battle.

Overall, my son is a very easy baby and very easy to console. Despite this, I dread the night because his sleep is interrupted by things we are doing to him to try to get him to sleep better. Things were so much better when he slept un-swaddled in his rock and play. I know he can't sleep in his rock and play forever, but he seems to prefer it because it's essentially a hammock that cradles him perfectly. The cradled, held-close feeling is lost in his crib. I thought that swaddling would help that but apparently not.

TL; DR: We're late to the swaddling game and my son seems to have started rolling over. Moro reflex still wakes him. How should we proceed moving forward?

posted by ThaBombShelterSmith to health & fitness (20 answers total)

I may be wrong (my kid is 5 so I've forgotten much of this) but isn't swaddling to keep their limbs tucked in and not flailing around? If you're trying to regulate his temperature I would put something under the sleep sack.
posted by lyssabee at 6:42 AM on January 11

This link may help you out.
posted by jay dee bee at 6:44 AM on January 11

We swaddled my son until he was 4.5 months. Even after he was able to roll over from back to front very successfully during the day, he would stay on his back at night in the swaddle. So I'd give it swaddling another shot if he's not rolling over completely. I also might consider letting him continue to sleep in the Rock n' Play if he's under the weight limit, especially since he has reflux. (we let our son sleep in his when he's congested). Or you could prop up one end of the crib to angle it.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:45 AM on January 11

Sleep with a baby: by any means necessary. The rock n' play works? As long as it's not dangerous, I say go with it.
posted by Ausamor at 6:45 AM on January 11 [2 favorites]

My midwife gave me the great advice of "do whatever works to get them to sleep for the first 6 months, then work on sleep training", so if sleeping in his rock and play works, let him do it. We coslept for the first 5.5 months and here in the last two weeks we've been transitioning to the crib. Since she's already figured out a rhythm, bed at 9p, feeding at 3am, wake up at 9am, now all we're working on is where that takes place.

My advice: Work on the "when" of sleeping and get a good schedule first, then work on the "where" of sleep. No need to learn two things simultaneously.


Of course this is our first baby and we're still not entirely sure what we're doing, but we try!
posted by julie_of_the_jungle at 6:51 AM on January 11

We kept swaddling as long as possible. At some point, closer to 6 months, we started swaddling just one arm at a time to start transitioning her from the swaddle. She was a very active, strong girl from the start but she never rolled while in the swaddle.
posted by amanda at 6:57 AM on January 11

Our kid, at around two months old, spent the next four months sleeping in her baby swing. Put her in the crib or porta-crib at bedtime, and it was like laying her on a bed of hot coals, she'd pitch such a fit (except at Grandma's house, where she was fiiiiine with the porta-crib.) She'd be OK playing in the crib while we cooked or cleaned, tho.

Eventually, she just decided she would start sleeping in the crib, and didn't want to be in the swing anymore.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:03 AM on January 11

I have a 3.5 month old and we recently transitioned him out of sleeping in the swing to sleeping in his crib. He hates being swaddled, and while the startle reflex often wakes him up a few times when we are getting him down to sleep, he eventually settles down and stops getting startled (or if he does, he doesn't wake up). Sometimes it helps to hold his arms down loosely at his sides and his binky in his mouth until he falls into a deeper sleep. Sometimes instead of holding his arms I just pat him over and over on his side and the rhythm calms him down. I'd say this whole process can take up to a half hour, but then he sleeps most of the night. Have you tried getting past the lighter sleep?
posted by amro at 7:07 AM on January 11

Swaddling issue aside, we've had some success in transitioning my 4.5 month-old son from his rock 'n' play to sleeping flat by putting him on his side, and sort of patting/rocking his body.
posted by Specklet at 7:20 AM on January 11

Oh man, I remember this stage of trying anything to get the baby to sleep! I agree with the above advice - do what works for now. Swaddled in the rock n play is fine. You may be hitting the 4 months sleep regression early too .... Grab a copy of the Ferber book and decide how you will proceed. And be patient - until you sleep train, there is only so much you can do, so do whatever you can to more zzzzs. At 3 months I started cosleeping with the baby after he woke up for the day at 6. We would snooze together until 930, which let me feel fairly normal! We sleep trained at 4.5 months and everything has been smooth sailing since then (knock on wood).
posted by yarly at 7:29 AM on January 11

How tightly are you swaddling him? He shouldn't be able to get his arms out, or to roll over. I would just put him in a light sleeper and then swaddle over it.
posted by checkitnice at 7:34 AM on January 11 [1 favorite]

If he sleeps fine in his rock and play, let him sleep in his rock and play. Sounds like everyone will get more sleep that way, and with a baby that young, that's all that matters.

Why exactly are you swaddling?
posted by rabbitrabbit at 7:35 AM on January 11 [1 favorite]

Here's where I admit that 1) our kid slept in the rock n' play until she was almost 5 months old (and for most of that time, it was right by our bed) and 2) after she moved to her crib, she was swaddled until almost 10 months old. Now, at some point, that swaddle went from tight-two-arms to tight-one-arm to loose-two-arms to just basically draping the blanket around her, and each of those transitions was precipitated by something -- rolling from back to tummy in the swaddle, for instance, led to the one-arm-out swaddle, but when she started sitting up and not being able to lie back down, we loosely swaddled both arms again (loose so she could free them easily to roll over, but swaddled so that she wasn't pushing herself up with her arms automatically). We sleep trained in there somewhere, too -- maybe around 6 months?

3-1/2 months is still plenty young to be in the rock n' play, so if that's working for you, I say stick with it. Use the crib for occasional naps if you can, so he can get used to it, but don't feel any need to rush into moving him into his crib full time if he's not ready.
posted by devinemissk at 7:42 AM on January 11 [1 favorite]

We swaddled in one of these: Miracle Blanket, and then put our son inside a sleeping bag. He wasn't able to roll much, and later we used an anti roll pillow (those ones with two cylinders, one for each side of the baby). Once he can escape the swaddle and roll over even with the pillow, it's time to give up both.

I also want to let you know that you can give up the pacifier at any time — especially if it's waking him up by falling out! We stopped using the pacifier at around 4 months; it took two or three nights before he didn't expect it any more. Kids are so adaptable, they learn a new "normal" very quickly. It would very likely be the same if you moved to a crib for all naps and evening sleeps. It might be a good idea to decide what your ideal sleeping arrangement is (crib, no pacifier, swaddled or not, etc.), and just go for it now. After a few days your son will be completely used to it.

Good luck! I know how stressful it is with number one.
posted by FrereKhan at 7:55 AM on January 11

What are your worries with the rock and play?

If you are too anxious to sleep, please look into post-partum anxiety disorder. You might benefit from more help and support. I should have gotten help sooner, it makes things so much better.

Practical advice: he will be able to wake you by crying, even if he's swaddled. He just has to turn his head slightly and he can do that. Our son has slept swaddled on his stomach/side since he was able to roll. It's okay. SIDS is more about physiological problems with the baby-it's not suffocation. Suffocating in a safe crib (firm mattress, no toys or pillows) is not going to happen.
posted by the young rope-rider at 8:36 AM on January 11 [1 favorite]

By the way, if your baby is starting to roll over, lower the crib mattress!! As soon as my oldest started rolling over, she could manage to roll herself over the edge, even though she couldn't even sit up alone at the time! She rolled herself out out once when she was swaddled! She was fine, actually laughing, but I was extremely upset (thank you hormones!). True, we felt like we were putting the baby to bed in a well at first, but at least she couldn't roll out. I actually still don't know how exactly she did it.
posted by Malla at 10:09 AM on January 11

I am not a doctor, and I am not your doctor, and this is not medical advice. However, all of my babies slept much better on their tummies, obviating most swaddling needs.
posted by heigh-hothederryo at 7:55 PM on January 11

My 4.5 month old son needs to be swaddled. He's just too active and wakes himself up by moving - not just Moro reflex stuff, but general movement. He can easily break out of a Velcro swaddle, so we use the Wombie, which is a zippered swaddle (we have the hilariously-named "Lil Houdini" model). He can't break out of that or roll over, since he doesn't have the leverage he'd need with his arms to roll. The sleep coach people and pediatricians I've talked to say it's completely fine to swaddle him for another few months as needed. You might also add some white noise, which can be a helpful sleep cue in moments like when the pacifier falls out. Dr Harvey Karp's sleep book suggests that you have to play it much louder than you'd think; this works well for us.

If your baby can roll over, he can pick his head up to cry and alert you. That's the way it works. You need to sleep without that level of anxiety hanging over you. Can you put the crib in your room till you're more comfortable with the idea of him sleeping there? Can your partner help so you can get some sleep?

On the cradle cap front, I've had really good success with a soft-bristle toothbrush and a few drops of argan oil. My son likes the sensation and it really clears up the flakes immediately. Don't be afraid to brush hard and remove all the flaky bits.
posted by judith at 11:35 PM on January 11

Babies sleep 'better' on their tummies, in that they sleep much more deeply, which is also why they're more likely to die of SIDS when sleeping on their tummies. Like, much, much more likely. Please don't do it unless that's a risk you're really prepared to deal with.

Unfortunately, I don't believe it is safe to keep swaddling a baby that is rolling over. Everything I've read says you can swaddle them for as long as you want but when they start rolling over, that's it.

Re the time he slept for 8 hours straight: some babies start sleeping through the night at 8 weeks; others take about a year, even with diligent sleep training. Sadly it may have been a one-off. But I hope you are lucky!

I'd second ditching the pacifier now, but this wasn't an issue for us because our kid never really like it.

Please, please, please get this book. Good luck.
posted by 8k at 11:40 PM on January 11 [2 favorites]

Also, re-reading your post: it sounds like you are very exhausted (I know, duh) and might have post-partum anxiety. This is different to post-partum depression but still pretty awful and my totally unscientific observation is that it's more common than PPD. It's probably making things harder than they need to be. So, if there's someone you can talk to about that, please do! It's a total nightmare trying to deal with baby sleep issues when you are really sleep deprived and anxious yourself.
posted by 8k at 11:46 PM on January 11