How can I end this relationship in the least harmful way?
January 9, 2013 2:52 PM Subscribe
My girlfriend and I have been together for 15+ years. We are no longer able to get along and function together, and we need to break up. We have an eight year old kid and financial problems. How do we handle the logistics of separating?
Please assume that reconciliation is off the table. I don't think the details of why our relationship has failed are really pertinent to the specific question, but there is frequent conflict, arguments, and all-around unhappiness. The situation is toxic for all three of us and needs to change. My girlfriend is currently being treated for depression. I probably should be getting treatment for depression.
We live in an area where rents are high and are currently renting a house month-to-month without any kind of signed lease. I have a job, but no savings; she is on a fixed income and cannot afford to rent her own place. She would probably qualify for housing assistance, but there are waitlists for that and so far she has not applied. She does not have family or friends she could stay with.
She is aware of the fact that I want to break up and move out, we have been talking about it, but between her depression and the fact that her options are fairly limited she has not been inclined to fully participate in the process. If I just went and found an apartment for myself and moved out, she would be unable to cover the rent on our current house on her own and would almost certainly face eviction. I don't want to put her (or our landlord) in that position.
I can continue with the status quo for a while, but not indefinitely. This is not the environment my kid deserves to be living in, but I don't want to make his mother homeless. I really don't know what to do, how I should be handling this, or where I should be looking for help or answers. What should I do?
(I can be reached off the green at email@example.com)