How to confront parents?
January 9, 2013 2:50 PM Subscribe
How to confront parents about an event which really hurt when I was younger and continues to plague my life/our relationship now (over ten years later)?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (38 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
When I was 7 I was told by my older sister that my dad was having an affair, and I basically stopped talking to him and acted out and gained weight and cried a lot and acted really aggressive for a long time. I was told sternly by my mother to never tell anyone and after a while she started being angry at me for ignoring my dad while my older sister continued to act normal around him and developed better relationships with both parents. I am 20 now and I still haven't confronted them about this, but my dad used to be one of my best friends when I was small and now I can't talk to him at all, and both my parents seem to like spending time with my sister a lot more than with me, and I can't help but feel bitter about this episode (even though I know far worse things have happened to other people) and blame the episode for my weight gain (I started emotional eating then). I am also not close to either parent anymore, but would like to be, and my sister suggested that I glaze over the episode and just start acting normal again... But I know intuitively that I need to confront them. If nottoget closure then at least to explain why I acted like how I did because honestly I don't think they understand,or have given it serious thought--probably just attributed it to grumpiness or teenager syndrome, and maybe it was in part, but mostly it was about this, and i need them to know that and maybe take some responsibility for it!
I feel like how I'm acting at home has infected the rest of my life and made me feel like a rotten peach in every other arena. Please help me detox this episode from my life, get closure and get closer to my parents again!