Should we invite this jerk to our wedding?
January 7, 2013 5:42 PM Subscribe
Our maid of honor slept with a friend and he treated her badly. He is now in a serious relationship with another old friend. Can we invite her and not him without hurting the friendship?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (56 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
We're getting married this fall. My fiancee has a large circle of friends from high school that she's quite close to. Several years ago, her maid of honor (and best friend) had a one-night stand with one of these friends, Bob. He treated her very badly: she felt that he manipulated her emotionally, pressured her into sex, and insulted her. I'm hesitant to use the phrase "gray rape," but I can't think of a better way to describe it. We've avoided him ever since this happened. He was never a very close friend to begin with, so it has been pretty low-key, and I'm not sure he has even noticed.
The problem is that another one of my fiancee's high school friends, Christie, has started dating Bob and it has become quite serious. My fiancee wants to invite Christie, whom she hasn't gotten to see for quite some time, but we do not want Bob to come. We can't assume that he will be sensible enough not to attend, so is there any way to invite Christie but not Bob without offending her? Should we tell Christie what happened? We don't want to be rude to Christie, but we definitely do not want the maid of honor to be so nervous about Bob that she can't enjoy the wedding.