Why don't some people speak up?
January 7, 2013 1:39 PM Subscribe
What is a word to describe a person who has a lot worth complaining about, yet doesn’t complain?
posted by (F)utility to Human Relations (32 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
I’ve noticed this tendency in a family member. She takes life as it comes, without complaining. When negative situations arise, she shrugs her shoulders and says something like, ‘Oh well, what can you do? It’s my lot in life.’ For example, she was once shorted some overtime pay and instead of bringing the problem to her work’s attention, she kept quiet and told herself, “I don’t mind. I got MOST of my pay, and in this economy I’m lucky to have a job at all.”
This attitude might be called ‘easygoing’ as a positive trait in someone who isn’t bothered by life’s problems—but my family member is not easygoing. This trait makes her unhappy. She gets taken advantage of by others, and suffers needlessly in unhealthy relationships. In the example about not getting her pay, she only told me about it months after the fact and said that she thought it was unfair, which shows that she’d been ruminating on the injustice for a long time (despite not having taken action).
I want to learn more about this tendency. I can’t seem to find the words to describe it, though, so I’m not finding the right resources. Would you call this conflict-averse? Compliant? Those are close but don’t seem quite right.
Also, I’d really like it if you had any websites or books to recommend.