Less attracted to wife
August 28, 2005 10:31 PM Subscribe
I'm becoming less attracted to my wife all the time. What do I do?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (55 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
I’m 39 years old, and my wife is 37. We have two kids. I love my wife very much and our relationship is quite strong overall. However, in the last couple of years I have found her to be less physically attractive than at any other time in our marriage. This has been really bothering me a lot. She was absolutely breathtaking when we got married; but now she has gained a little bit of weight and, while she’s still basically nice looking, she does not grab my eye the way she used to. I’m embarrassed to say that this is important to me, but it turns out that it is. I think the changes in her body can partly be attributed to the normal ravages of time; however, she eats more junk food now than ever before and exercises less now than ever before. Her physical appearance impacts my mood while I’m with her, I’m sorry to say. Also I find myself thinking a lot about more attractive women within our circle of association. I really have two questions: (1) Is there any way I could talk to her about this without causing more harm than good? (2) In the meantime, how can I deal with being less attracted to her and more attracted to so many other people? I have no one else I can discuss this with, so I would really appreciate some feedback.
* If you don’t mind, I would like it if you identified yourselves as male or female in your responses. I think the context of your response changes a lot depending on your own sex.