Danger, Will Robinson
December 27, 2012 6:07 PM Subscribe
I feel like I have what others would consider "natural gifts," and that I may be in the process of squandering them. Help me stay/get on track.
posted by anonymous to Work & Money (17 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
I'm trying to get advice on making the things in my life work in a long-term way, and, importantly, work in a way I'm okay wiith. I'm about to leave a Ph.D. program in the ABD stage, because the work makes me miserable and I have no love for academia. I like to write, but I hate academic writing. I also want to move to New York, because I have family there and because I really love the city, having spent about a total of a year there, if all my brief trips are taken into account. My little brother - a career food industry worker on an upward trajectory - can get me a decent bartending/serving job with his restaurant group, and I do really enjoy my minimal experience in the restaurant industry. I like this prospect, but it's very frightening, and a number of concerns come up:
1) money to move. I have credit card debt (not astronomical levels, but not small amounts either) and very little savings. I can get family to cosign on a lease, so I will be able to rent, but it's going to be tricky.
2) Is changing my career track at this point a stupid idea? It also feels stupid to stay in academia: I don't feel like a strong candidate in the humanities track, and I don't feel like I want to be a strong candidate. I want to live in a big city, expecially NY, and go out, and live a life.
3) I hate to admit it, but I also want a longish-term relationship at some point. I've got one divorce behind me, and since then, I've been striking out pretty consistently (lots of brief flings; nothing lasting). I feel like having a career is a necessity, at least for all of the people I've actually been interested in. I.e., I wouldn't mind gigging and working waged, shift-work until my health gives out, but I also tend to be attracted - in a lasting way - to the kind of people who do mind.
4) My own head. I've been diagnosed with ADD and depression. I can get excited about something, put a huge amount of energy into it, then fall into a depressive or addictive lapse and let it all go to shit. I can keep up energy for a while, but I also get discouraged easily. I worry that, as I get older and older, the world will be less and less forgiving toward these lapses.
I know there's no definitive answer, but some guidance would help. Also, I could use practical advice on moving to NYC.