Potential herpes infection - help?
December 21, 2012 8:51 AM Subscribe
I think I might have herpes, and I'm freaking out. Can you give me any advice or reassurance?
Yesterday, I noticed a painful flat white bump with a red border on my labia majora. At first I thought it was an ingrown hair or something, but after Googling, it sounds very much like a herpes lesion. From what I've read, the initial outbreak is often accompanied by flu-like symptoms - and over the past few days, I've experienced headaches, a slight fever, chills, & an ongoing sore throat.
I've had PIV sex precisely once, over a year ago, and we used a condom. However, the guy also went down on me a couple of times. I didn't notice any cold sores or anything at the time, but I was so inexperienced that I probably wouldn't know what to look for anyway.
I'm going to make an appointment with my doctor first thing Monday, but I've already pretty much convinced myself of the worst. I'm terrified of having herpes - not because of the disease itself, but because of the stigma, especially when dating. I'm actively dating via OKCupid etc., and I don't want this to spoil my chances with the few eligible guys in my area - but at the same time, I would never ever sleep with someone without disclosing. And I know a ton of people don't disclose, or don't even know they have it - and I'm kind of wishing I were one of them.
I guess I'm just really freaked out and would appreciate any reassurance (incl. personal experiences) or resources that you can offer me. Thank you in advance!
Throwaway email address: potentialinfection@gmail.com
Yesterday, I noticed a painful flat white bump with a red border on my labia majora. At first I thought it was an ingrown hair or something, but after Googling, it sounds very much like a herpes lesion. From what I've read, the initial outbreak is often accompanied by flu-like symptoms - and over the past few days, I've experienced headaches, a slight fever, chills, & an ongoing sore throat.
I've had PIV sex precisely once, over a year ago, and we used a condom. However, the guy also went down on me a couple of times. I didn't notice any cold sores or anything at the time, but I was so inexperienced that I probably wouldn't know what to look for anyway.
I'm going to make an appointment with my doctor first thing Monday, but I've already pretty much convinced myself of the worst. I'm terrified of having herpes - not because of the disease itself, but because of the stigma, especially when dating. I'm actively dating via OKCupid etc., and I don't want this to spoil my chances with the few eligible guys in my area - but at the same time, I would never ever sleep with someone without disclosing. And I know a ton of people don't disclose, or don't even know they have it - and I'm kind of wishing I were one of them.
I guess I'm just really freaked out and would appreciate any reassurance (incl. personal experiences) or resources that you can offer me. Thank you in advance!
Throwaway email address: potentialinfection@gmail.com
I've had PIV sex precisely once, over a year ago, and we used a condom. I didn't notice any cold sores or anything at the time, but I was so inexperienced that I probably wouldn't know what to look for anyway.
If that's true, I can almost guarantee you don't have herpes, even if you have something that might be a symptom.
Wait to see what your doctor says.
posted by empath at 9:13 AM on December 21, 2012 [2 favorites]
If that's true, I can almost guarantee you don't have herpes, even if you have something that might be a symptom.
Wait to see what your doctor says.
posted by empath at 9:13 AM on December 21, 2012 [2 favorites]
A single bump? A year after you had sex with a condom? Yes, it's possible that you have herpes, but in all likelihood, this is just something else like folliculitis, combined with a coincidental cold. It's way too late for you to have a primary infection (what you've been reading about) a year after you were exposed.
The physical description doesn't even sound like herpes: "The classic presentation of genital herpes is with multiple, shallow, tender ulcers that may be vesicular; in addition, only herpes simplex virus (HSV) is associated with recurrent disease."1 You would need lab tests to be sure either way, but this isn't a set of symptoms that is going to make anyone immediately think herpes.
Talk to your physician. Don't freak out in the meantime.
1 Albrecht MA. 2012. Epidemiology, clinical manifestations, and diagnosis of genital herpes simplex virus infection. UpToDate, Basow DS (ed). UpToDate, Waltham, MA.
posted by grouse at 9:19 AM on December 21, 2012
The physical description doesn't even sound like herpes: "The classic presentation of genital herpes is with multiple, shallow, tender ulcers that may be vesicular; in addition, only herpes simplex virus (HSV) is associated with recurrent disease."1 You would need lab tests to be sure either way, but this isn't a set of symptoms that is going to make anyone immediately think herpes.
Talk to your physician. Don't freak out in the meantime.
1 Albrecht MA. 2012. Epidemiology, clinical manifestations, and diagnosis of genital herpes simplex virus infection. UpToDate, Basow DS (ed). UpToDate, Waltham, MA.
posted by grouse at 9:19 AM on December 21, 2012
Don't put the cart ahead of the horse - this is flu season! As telegraph pointed out, the initial outbreak of herpes usually occurs within 2 weeks of the exposure. Also, a herpes lesion is not usually described as a 'flat white bump' - it is an actual tiny blister (fluid filled lesion) called a vesicle, or an ulcer (which is the opposite of a bump) and there is often a cluster of them.
posted by treehorn+bunny at 9:21 AM on December 21, 2012
posted by treehorn+bunny at 9:21 AM on December 21, 2012
Aw, dude - heed the medical aphorism about horses and zebras, okay? A single flat white lesion appearing a FULL YEAR after a single instance of protected sex COULD be a herpetic lesion, sure - but I'll bet you that in 99,999 out of 10,000 cases, it's some other benign gynecological condition which fits the description a lot better.
posted by julthumbscrew at 9:36 AM on December 21, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by julthumbscrew at 9:36 AM on December 21, 2012 [4 favorites]
Even if it is herpes, I promise you it won't ruin your life.
It's hardly a debilitating disease -- the primary downside is actually just the stigma associated with the condition, but the mitigating factor there is that hardly anyone in your life would have to know that you have it, and you get to pick and choose who they are. It would limit your casual sex options somewhat, but contrary to portrayals in the popular media casual sex is less common anyway than sex within a committed relationship -- so your overall sexual options aren't really limited significantly. In the context of a committed relationship I wouldn't consider it to be a big deal -- it'd just be one more thing that needed to be addressed with care and sensitivity, among the myriad such things that everybody brings to a relationship just by dint of being human.
Plus, you probably don't have herpes for all the great reasons listed above. There are an amazing number of weird things that can happen to your junk, and most of them are even less serious than herpes is. You are doing the responsible thing by getting it checked out, but don't freak too hard, OK? Your life is in no danger of ending.
posted by Scientist at 9:54 AM on December 21, 2012
It's hardly a debilitating disease -- the primary downside is actually just the stigma associated with the condition, but the mitigating factor there is that hardly anyone in your life would have to know that you have it, and you get to pick and choose who they are. It would limit your casual sex options somewhat, but contrary to portrayals in the popular media casual sex is less common anyway than sex within a committed relationship -- so your overall sexual options aren't really limited significantly. In the context of a committed relationship I wouldn't consider it to be a big deal -- it'd just be one more thing that needed to be addressed with care and sensitivity, among the myriad such things that everybody brings to a relationship just by dint of being human.
Plus, you probably don't have herpes for all the great reasons listed above. There are an amazing number of weird things that can happen to your junk, and most of them are even less serious than herpes is. You are doing the responsible thing by getting it checked out, but don't freak too hard, OK? Your life is in no danger of ending.
posted by Scientist at 9:54 AM on December 21, 2012
I've been through this freakout, as have many an askme before you. See what the doctor says - it really is likeliest to be something else! I wish I hadn't spent all of that time freaking out, I'm sure it only made my health worse. You really will be ok!
posted by ldthomps at 10:02 AM on December 21, 2012
posted by ldthomps at 10:02 AM on December 21, 2012
One weekend in college I convinced myself that I had herpes after finding a similar bump. I got so freaked out that I walked two miles in TWO FEET OF SNOW to go to the student clinic's Saturday hours. The doctor examined me for a minute, maybe two, and then told me I had folliculitis. I had to walk the two miles back feeling foolish but relieved. This is probably how you will feel on Monday. Treat yourself to a cab so you at least don't have to walk in any snow!
If I remember correctly from my frantic research that weekend, your first outbreak is usually the nastiest and most virulent. So if this really was your first outbreak of herpes it would almost certainly be more than just one bump.
And as everyone said, even if it is herpes, it's going to be ok!
posted by Colonel_Chappy at 10:04 AM on December 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
If I remember correctly from my frantic research that weekend, your first outbreak is usually the nastiest and most virulent. So if this really was your first outbreak of herpes it would almost certainly be more than just one bump.
And as everyone said, even if it is herpes, it's going to be ok!
posted by Colonel_Chappy at 10:04 AM on December 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
It's not impossible but it's highly unlikely that what you're seeing is herpes.
And remember, if you get tested that a lot of people (at least 85%) are exposed to herpes during early childhood and develop antibodies, but most of them will never have an outbreak even though they will "test positive".
HSV-1 and HSV-2 are just two little members of a huge family of herpes virii that has co-evolved with humans. Everybody probably has hundreds of pieces of different pesky herpes virii in their DNA.
posted by hobo gitano de queretaro at 11:24 AM on December 21, 2012
And remember, if you get tested that a lot of people (at least 85%) are exposed to herpes during early childhood and develop antibodies, but most of them will never have an outbreak even though they will "test positive".
HSV-1 and HSV-2 are just two little members of a huge family of herpes virii that has co-evolved with humans. Everybody probably has hundreds of pieces of different pesky herpes virii in their DNA.
posted by hobo gitano de queretaro at 11:24 AM on December 21, 2012
This thread is closed to new comments.
First of all, if you have herpes, please believe me when I say that it is OK, and your life is going to continue to be great. It sounds like you are on the young side so I'm confident saying I think your life is actually going to get better and better!
Second of all, your facts are a little confused. You can't have an initial outbreak a year after exposure. If this really is herpes, what's more likely is that you caught a little flu-like bug, and that triggered an outbreak of the herpes you've had all along (remember oral herpes outbreaks are sometimes called "cold sores" because they're often triggered by having a cold). If this isn't herpes, maybe you have the flu and an ingrown hair. Your doctor will help you figure it out.
Feel free to MeFiMail me.
posted by telegraph at 9:13 AM on December 21, 2012