How can I make my eyes brighter and less tired-looking?
December 19, 2012 9:04 AM   Subscribe

How do I make the area around my eyes look softer and younger? I have genetics, Lasik complications and sinus issues working against me.

I'm a 38 year old male, recently divorced. I'm trying to get re-accustomed to dating. It's hard. I'm not used to analyzing my appearance much and I think I've aged fairly well. I do have an issue with the area around my eyes that would be nice to treat somehow.

Basically since having LASIK about a decade ago, I've been light-sensitive and my eyes have been very dry. As a result, they create more tears artificially which just makes them look glassy and squinty. I believe that sinus issues have helped make them look puffy with black circles most of the time too.

Those things combined with being almost 40, I feel like I look more tired that I am, even after a good night's sleep. It makes me less confident, which affects my concentration talking to women, and so on.

Any suggestions based on personal experience would be great to hear, thanks!
posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness (15 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
 
For puffiness/redness - cucumber slices are the traditional method but amusingly, hemorrhoid cream (do not get IN your eyes) can also be used. Also warm chamomile tea bags, squeezed to dampness.

For dark circles - this can be genetic, unfortunately. I have shadowy bits even after 12 hours of flopsy toddler unconsciousness. You could use a few dots of well-blended concealer if you feel comfortable with that; many men do not. There are some super expensive products that actually bleach the area beneath your eyes, they are weird and don't do much aside from ruining your towels.

For crow's feet caused by squinting - botox is basically your only solution, there are no magical creams or lotions that will make them go away. Done correctly and sparingly, you will not have the frozen starey botox face that everyone assumes is the norm.
posted by elizardbits at 9:12 AM on December 19, 2012


You sure the eye stuff isn't allergy-related? I get some of that post-lasik but it went away quickly for the most part

Try taking an allergy eye drop before bed
posted by MangyCarface at 9:15 AM on December 19, 2012


Also it helps to remember that there will never be anyone on earth who is more sensitive to your flaws, be they real or perceived, than yourself.

okay, maybe your mom.
posted by elizardbits at 9:17 AM on December 19, 2012 [5 favorites]


First, I'd go talk to your ophthalmologist about the dry-eyes and get a recommendation on some eye drops. Second, allergies are a big contributor to dark circles, so do what you can to feel better sinus-wise. Thirdly and cosmetically, I think this stuff is awesome. It's marketed as a makeup primer but it can also be used alone to smooth out skin. That's how I use it. Fourthly, elizardbits is right.
posted by Katine at 9:25 AM on December 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


Loreal men's expert circle eraser: anti-dark circle eye moisturizer...it actually works. I got it at rite-aid or walgreen's...check your local drugstore...it might be by the shaving stuff, trying to act 'manlier' :P
for concealer you could try a theatrical grease paint, joe blasco or mehron. a TINY bit goes a long way (the goal is to 'minimize' not 'erase'), it blends easily, and being for theater the colors (i.e. YOUR skin color) isn't as likely to go out of 'fashion' as a commercial make-up
posted by sexyrobot at 9:47 AM on December 19, 2012


Roc retinol eye cream really works for me if I apply it morning and night. It's not makeup. The retinol increases cell turnover - newer skin under the eyes is a huge improvement for me. Dark circles are often a result of thin skin - you're basically seeing blood through thin, pale skin - that's why the dark circles are similar to the color of a bruise. It takes a couple weeks to work.
posted by selfmedicating at 9:59 AM on December 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


Seconding consulting your ophthalmologist. Both my father and I developed blepharitis after eye surgery, and we have each been treated successfully after finding the lid hygeine regimen that worked best with the least amount of irritation. Ocusoft works best for my dad, and what works best for me is SteriLid. Our doctor said that many people do fine with a soft washcloth and a tiny amount of baby shampoo, but that didn't work as well for either of us.

In my case, once the eyelid inflammation was under control, I had much less under-eye puffiness, and I also found that I needed to use eye drops far less frequently.
posted by gimli at 10:01 AM on December 19, 2012


Enter the brave new world of male skin care (notwithstanding the idea to make sure there is no underlying medical problem to resolve as others have suggested). It may be time to just embrace a few additional steps in your regime. And as a 35 yr old female I would not consider you to be any less manly if you did what I am about to suggest :)

Puffiness - make strong green tea and freeze this as ice cubes. Using a bit of gauze like thin fabric to wrap one of the ice cubes first, apply this around your eyes for a few minutes. Works a treat. Indeed, at a push, I have placed a couple of metal soup spoons in the freezer for a few minutes and applied these to my eyes. Both work, but it's more pleasant to use a gauze wrapped ice cube than really cold spoons because spoons are not soft and do heat up really quickly.

Dark circles - embrace concealer. The aim is to basically use colour and light reflection to minimise the darkness thus making it stand out less and present a more even skin tone all over your face.

There are a lot of products out there. Some aimed at men, some not. If you are daunted by this is there a sympathetic knowledgeable female relative or friend could help you navigate this?
posted by koahiatamadl at 10:26 AM on December 19, 2012


This is my big looking older issue too. I didn't use to have puffy eyes! Here are the things that help me.

1.) take care of the sinus issues.
2.) buy lubricant eye drops and use them, especially before bed.
3.) drink water regularly and avoid salty foods- for me, this means eating less restaurant food.
4.) use a humidifier to help both your sinuses and dry eyes.
5.) some people are allergic to topical vitamin K, but it can help with undereye circles and spider veins. (note that you must add this particular product to another cream or serum.)
6.) concealers are hard to use properly- I can often spot them on people who regularly wear a full face of makeup, and if you aren't a master they are hard to match to your skin tone and can make puffy eyes look puffier. Take care of your eating, drinking, and possible allergies first.
7.) the tea bag or cucumber trick can work. If you don't mind visiting a super foofy and headache inducing store, Lush's Ayesha fresh mask is a great pick-me up before a night out. You could also try plain old witch hazel as an astringent refresher.
posted by oneirodynia at 12:03 PM on December 19, 2012


I have dark circles under my eyes, 24/7. No amount of sleep or eye cream will make them go away or lessen them.

If you are like me then you are probably very thin and don't have a lot of fat built up around your eyes. This makes the green veins underneath more visible, creating that dark circle appearance. Gain 10 to 15 pounds and it will lessen the dark circles a *little*. Also, tanning helps a little bit.

But honestly, the circles will always be there. Your best bet is to become comfortable with them. Looking at it from the opposite perspective, single women your age are worrying about the fat around their tummies, stretch marks on their arms or sagging boobs. I highly doubt they are worried about your dark circles, and even if they did, you probably don't want to be dating such a vain person anyways.
posted by nikkorizz at 12:27 PM on December 19, 2012


Try to wear flattering colors near your face and avoid anything in the purple family. Maybe enlist a friend to judge which shades make you look good and which make you look washed out. I have fair skin with dark purple circles and wearing anything purple/violet or cool blue makes them stand out more. Wearing colors too bright and saturated seems to have the same effect. I think I look good in green but a really strong, teal green washes me out, thereby enhancing the circles.

Oh, and I always look more rested in the morning if I apply a thin layer of Alba brand Unpetroleum Jelly (granola Vaseline, I'm sure regular Vaseline works just as well) all around my eye--think shiny, transparent raccoon eyes.
posted by fozzie_bear at 5:39 PM on December 19, 2012


That is, I apply it at bedtime.
posted by fozzie_bear at 5:46 PM on December 19, 2012


I understand that you're concerned, and I'm glad you've got some good advice here.

I just wanted to throw this in: I'm a woman, around your age, also new to dating, and I'm here to tell you that your problem is probably way, way, WAY less noticeable than you think.

I understand that I don't speak for everyone, but I'm happy to generalize here: women our age are A LOT less critical of your physical appearance than you think. 'Crows feet/dark circles' level of detail? Do not care. Seriously. Could not care less. Too busy looking for major personality flaws.

Good luck!
posted by Salamander at 9:29 PM on December 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


Fish oil and/or flax oil work a treat for dry eyes - I have the same problem and I definitely notice after a day or two if I've missed doses. As a bonus they'll also improve your skin tone and hair. For me fish oil works especially well, but ymmv.

An allergy test would also be a good idea, as they are often the root cause of eye and sinus-related concerns. One very common one is dust mites, in which case something as simple as a mattress cover might provide dramatic improvements to a problem you didn't know you had.

Other than that, I'm not sure if it applies, but 35 is around where I really start noticing if someone is physically active. They have a sort of glow that sedentary people lack that makes them look much nicer (even if they have more wrinkles or body weight than average).
posted by susanvance at 7:12 AM on December 20, 2012


Seconding Salamander as a woman in my 30s trying to date. Most people are just awful. A decent person who is interesting and not some kind of pathological liar?! The sheer glare of his Not Sucking would obliterate any purely cosmetic flaws.
posted by like_a_friend at 12:35 PM on December 20, 2012


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