Shy and Unlucky in Love
December 18, 2012 5:27 PM Subscribe
Help me figure out why I'm so unlucky with romance
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (26 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
Yes, sorry, another question on this familiar topic. But of course, slightly different.
I'm female, almost 34 (but look younger and with lots of younger friends, if that is somehow relevant).
I'm shy but can be friendly, have a decent amount of friends, people tell me I am kind.
Appearance-wise, well, on a good day i think I look cute. I work out almost every single day, I take care of myself. I'm not a fashion maven and don't wear much makeup but I like to choose flattering clothes and sometimes enjoy putting outfits together. So, Ido n't think a hideous appearance is standing in the way...
But there is something going on here. I've had no long-term relationships, just flings with very unsuitable guys (one who was gay, one who was uneducated and untrustworthy, one who was just not on the same page as me.)
I know the no long-term relationship yet is not that big a deal. In some ways I choose that because I am independent and enjoy spending time alone.
I have quite a few male friends...and in the past I have expressed interest in a couple and they didn't return it. This just happened...with a guy I thought had been vibing on me...he happily told me today he has a new girlfriend. I told him how I felt (to explain why I didn't think we could hang out anymore) and he said he only liked me as a friend). I was crushed. This happened before, a few years ago, the same thing, and I was devasted then and afterwards became afraid to tell guys if I liked them.
A friend gave me the feedback that I am shy and hard to get close to so guys don't think I am interested.And a lot of timesI am not interested at first because it takes me time to get to know someone.But how do I change that?
Or else there is something else about me? What is it? Or how do I figure it out? I do want to love someone and be in a relationship but it never seems to happen.
There have been guys who have expressed interest, but they all just seemed...not right.
Sometimes i think that I only like guys who are not right for me.
Does this sound familiar to anyone? I'd really appreciate any advice at all. I am really hurting.