December 18, 2012 1:47 PM Subscribe
I'm unemployed, and probably depressed. Any help?
posted by anonymous to health & fitness (9 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
Apologies if this is a bit rambling and unfocused. It's reflective of my mood today.
I lost my long term job 2 years ago after the company I worked for shut down. I tried to work with some existing clients in the field for a year, but I didn't "go for it" 100% because I was burnt-out and ambivalent about my profession. I went back to school to pick up some new skills hoping to move laterally into another area. I have been looking (unsuccessfully) for work the last 6 months.
Making a transition doesn't seem to be in the cards with my current skills. Even entry level jobs, that I thought I could get easily, I simply get stock rejection letters from.
I can see how this has all happened. I'm naturally introverted and tend towards close relationships with a few people. I've avoided professional networking, social networking, and let my old skills slide. I've become unmotivated, confused, and full of shame. I relied on my old job as a stabilizing force in my life. Without the anchor of full time employment I've drifted and my worst tendencies towards procrastination and avoidance have blossomed.
I couldn't sleep last night and found myself pacing and crying alone at 3AM. That's not normal. This morning my wife blew up again (understandably) about the little things that I continue to slip on. That smallest things now point to my failure in life. She loves me, but she's done with the situation.
I feel fucked. I've ruined my life and my marriage (that feels like all I had/have going for me). I need to get my life and self together quick.
I've just started working with a career coach, but I don't feel like I did when I was younger; I don't feel hopeful and full of potential at this point in time.
Obviously, my current situation is all my responsibility. I know I've got to pull myself up by my bootstraps. But I feel like I can't find the handles right now. I'm worried about my mental health, and I am not sure where to turn, or if this is just situational.