How do I ensure things stay platonic, but friendly, with this guy?
December 16, 2012 6:07 PM Subscribe
I just got asked by email to meet for drinks by this guy in my Meetup group. He's a nice person, and I'd like to be friends. I have a boyfriend, and I don't think he knows this. How do I politely deflect?
posted by iadacanavon to human relations (23 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
The situation is made a little more tricky by the fact that it's not clear whether "drinks" actually means "date." Does it usually mean this? And, I'm the organizer, so I'm trying not to alienate nice members who have attended before, or make things awkward. I'm wondering if my enthusiastic friendliness to new members was mistaken for some kind of flirtatious interest.
He's a cool person and in a field I'd like to network in, so I don't want to just decline inexplicably. I have many platonic guy friends and there's no weirdness. I was thinking of saying something like "I don't really drink except with my boyfriend. :) But I'd be down for coffee sometime." Would this be too direct?
I just don't want him to have mistaken impressions. Should I just go hang out and *then* say something if it appears he's flirting? Have you had this situation, and what worked best?