yes - no - maybe - maybe yes - maybe no - maybe maybe - wait - can't decide - what to do first? - was that wrong? - was that right?
August 24, 2005 11:14 AM Subscribe
Ever been so overwhelmed that it paralyzed you? How did figure out what to do first? How did you get it all done?
posted by anonymous to human relations (25 answers total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
Cirrcumstances rendered me unable to decide, focus, prioritize and accomplish for a number of years. The cause was found and I am clearer and eager to get on and rejoin life. But ye gods! The physical mess in my home is horrific and the number of things I've left undone over these years is humongous.
Imagine that you've been away from your life while a tornado was ripping through it -- through your job and house and relationships -- and that, while you'd periodically returned and started cleanups, you'd then disappeared each time just as you were making headway and by the time you returned again, the tornadoes had gotten worse and nobody trusted your commitment. So now you are back to stay but don't know where to begin to clear it all up, maintain it and make a living at the same time.
That sounds farfetched, but believe me, it's real and no, I don't really want to go into details just now except to say always trust your gut when you tell doctors you need to be tested for something physical that they tell you is all in your head -- and keep searching till you find the doctor who'll do the test.
Anyhow, I just want to get on with life but being able to suddenly see how messed up everything is is almost worse than not being able to see it before.
Here's the deal: my home is cluttered beyond belief; our house is falling apart; my family has lost faith in my ability to run things smoothly; I've put on 50 pounds although I'd never been overweight before; my business is gone although those who knew me remember my abilities and people who know me only recently are impressed by my credentials; I prefer to go back to that business, but some of my materials are still buried under the clutter and remarketing myself will take time, as will doing a refresher of the things I know; but our finances are by now strained to breaking my husband apart. A part time job would help while I reestablish my business but, as I've found out during the last three weeks, applying for jobs is a horrible and time consuming endeavor, and the teenage kids are all running wild and needing money for school.
If I left anything out you can add it yourself: every area of my life is now in shambles and I would love to get it right again in a step-by-step way, but every area is screaming for attention immediately and I feel hopeless and overwhelmed.
My thought is that organizing and getting rid of the clutter in my house will help me find stuff we need and will return a sense of peace and haven to our home, but when I concentrate on that, I'm asked why I'm not making an income. When I spend the day jobhunting -- and believe me, almost anything will do but I've not jobhunted in years and I'm floored by the slow pace of snagging an interview and by hearing that they're scheduling second interviews in a week or two. Hello? Second interviews? We're talking simple waitress job here.
Meanwhile, everyone needs rides and money and things and did I mention that my spouse is away during the week so there's nobody here to do it all but me?
And you have no idea how much time and strength are just eaten up by the simple act of throwing stuff into garbage bags and lugging it to the garbage when you're 50 lbs. overweight. I actually bought $1300 of personal trainer time at a 24-hour gym 2 years ago but my doctors won't say yes yet to me going back to reclaim it ( your expired gym contract can be overturned for medical reasons with a doctor's signature, FYI). I am focused enough to be able to tell helper's to pitch this, cart that and to work like a fiend WITH that help, but I can't afford it yet and my family is just not there for me to provide real assistance. I think they will be as they see me maintaining focus for now, but it's just been too long that they've seen and believed it.
Anyhow, Sorry for the rant. Therapy's out of the question -- first because the cause of all this was found to be a medical deficiency and not a mental health problem and second because the best therapy for me right now will be getting a semblance of order back. Besides, I LOL! don't have time -- I just want to get my life and my credibility back together without losing my husband and neglecting my kids.
Stuff like household help and a personal assistant ARE a viable option for me once I start back to work, and there are a number of items in this clutter that are new and valuable and I can barter them for help with the house, once I find them and clean up enough to let someone over. But those would all be steps 3 and 4 or something; I need decision and priority making help now.
Anyone tackled a life tornado before and want to give me suggestions? While we're at it, if you did, did you also find that a thousand emergencies cropped up while you were doing so, or is that just me. I don't think so, I think I'm just finding it difficult to set in flexibility for handling extraneous while trying to handle untenable.
I know this anonymous thing isn't set up to let me post again, so I want to say now that I hope I didn't include too much and that I sure would appreciate anything anyone wrote, and I won't forget you later when my dust has cleared and I get the opportunity to help you out. That's a promise I now can keep.