December 1, 2012 2:02 PM Subscribe
My Son (Oliver, 8) goes to school. He has regular playdates and the occasional sleepover with other kids from his class. One of the children from his class is the child of a local politician, his name is Thomas. Oliver and Thomas are friends, but Oliver is friends with many other kids and some of whom he would prefer. Sometimes Thomas can be a difficult kid, not exactly sure what his status is, but he has more needs than most kids. With that said, he is only 8 and not a bad kid, quite polite. We have had drinks with Thomas's parents before and it was nice, however I made sure to avoid any political conversations as the father is the elected local representative of a party I find ... unappealing. I know the mother more than the father and we get along fine.
posted by njk to human relations (40 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
With me so far...
Recently, our local politician (Thomas's father) has voted for in favour of some legislative items that I find _really_ _really_ _really_ offensive. The legislation involve exploring/updating the definition of when life begins in the criminal code. I cannot get over it. I am very pissed off at our local politician for voting this way, it was a free vote (not along party lines). I mean I am always pissed at the party he represents, but somehow I can look past it in his case. This being a free vote, well I cannot get passed it and at some point, its going to come out. I have written letters in the past, but have stopped over the last 3 years ... partly because of Thomas's and Oliver's relationship
Recently, Thomas's mother has been trying to organize a playdate/sleepover, which they have had before, couple times here couple of times there. My son is ambivalent about spending time with Thomas. If he had to choose, he would likely pick another kid to have a playdate with, but he would also like to have a playdate with Thomas ... he is permissive that way. Anyone, anytime.
So I hope you see were this is going, because my question(s) are kinda still jumbled in my mind..
Given that I basically control my son's social agenda, why would I steer him in the direction of people that I probably would not want to hang around with? Restated, why would I invest that energy when I can foster other social groups for him (and ultimately us). I dont think Oliver would care one way or another. However, I worry that it is not necessarily fair to Thomas (who really likes Oliver). Currently, I have been avoiding the situation, "sorry, so busy". Should I just come out and let Thomas's mom know what I am doing/thinking. Am I being too shallow? Grit my teeth.
This has been gnawing at me for a while, thoughts?