My dad moved on. I seem to be stuck.
November 28, 2012 6:50 PM Subscribe
I'm struggling with my dad moving on after my mother's death. Looking for advice or books to help me accept what's happening.
posted by cecic to human relations (21 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
My mother died two years ago next month after 45+ years of marriage. My dad met a woman in August who does not live in our state and things are moving very quickly - quitting of jobs, moving in, potential marriage quickly. I am having a hard time with this. The logical side of me acknowledges that I want him to be happy and fulfilled, I don't want him to be alone just because I'm struggling with his newfound love, that my mom is gone and he's not being unfaithful, and that's it's his life to do with as he chooses.
But there is a part of me that feels like I'm losing my mom and my family unit as I knew it all over again and losing my dad to this new woman. I'm not upset that he's dating, I'm sad that he found my mom's replacement and that it's moving so fast. I know all this is exceedingly childish, but I can't shake it. And then there are the horror stories I am getting from left and right and even from my own extended family history of parents who remarry late in life creating financial, legal, and emotional havoc for all.
If you've gone through this and felt this way, how did you get past the sadness and just be happy your parent is happy? Are there books on this subject? I've tried sucking it up, but I'm not succeeding. I'm an only child, if that's relevant.