November 28, 2012 4:21 PM Subscribe
My boyfriend and I constantly fight about cooking. Are we both being too inflexible?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (50 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
My boyfriend absolutely loathes cooking. He doesn't even feel a sliver of satisfaction at having cooked something for himself when he does, and makes enough money that he can eat out for every meal if he wants. He complains that it takes too much time, and he would rather work an extra hour a day to afford premade meals by a personal chef than spend that hour cooking.
I love to cook, and come from a lower-class background where it was an absolute necessity. However, as a grad student I don't have a lot of time to plan/shop/cook during crunch times, so I often participate in eating out even though I feel guilty because to me, it's bourgeois and spoiled to let others do my cooking for me.
I've tried compromising, saying that I'll cook if he cleans, but he often refuses and says he'd rather pay for every meal out than do the cleaning.
We try to eat healthy when we go out, but I know even a healthy meal at a locally-owned organic restaurant might have hidden mischief in terms of calories and sugar and whatnot. He refuses to believe that what he's eating isn't actually healthier than what we eat at home when I cook. (And to be honest, maybe it is just as healthy, but I'm suspicious after reading some things about "healthy" entrees at chain restaurants).
Sometimes this feels like a big issue and a potential dealbreaker. He can be flexible about some other things, but is absolutely intractable about this.