Can we get paid to show off and not ruin our lives?
November 26, 2012 6:15 AM Subscribe
My husband and I are swingers who happily have lots of casual sex recreationally. We were recently offered money from someone who just wants to watch us have sex with each other, and money is really tight right now. Is there a way to make this work without screwing our lives up?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (11 answers total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
My husband and I are very happily married (second marriages for us both), and we are both very sexual and kinky and love that about each other. We have a deeply loving D/s relationship in the bedroom that is egalitarian and mutually supportive and is a real pleasure and joy for us both to engage in.
Part of how that manifests itself is through swinging - my husband posts ads online for strangers to come visit our home, where we entertain primarily single women or straight couples, although less frequently he will find single or multiple men to have sex with me while he watches and directs the action. It is one of our favorite things to do together and the majority of the encounters we've had have been very friendly and positive.
In the meantime, my husband's work has also suddenly dried up in the bad economy, and I'm the only one bringing in any income, although he's been looking for work for months. I have a regular salary but don't make great money, and we are really struggling to pay our monthly bills. (I've also been looking for a new, better-paying job, but have only gotten one interview in months of looking.)
So this is the context in which we were offered money from someone who just wants to watch us have sex with each other. My husband is always fielding emails from single guys who saw that we were looking for a woman or couple, and decided to try to convince us to entertain them instead. This, however, was the first time we've been offered money, and for something as simple as being watched. With our circumstances the way they are, it is a very tempting offer, and we've talked about considering it, but it seems like a huge step to accept money, even though we would be doing something we would happily do for free anyway. So what I'm wondering is, is there any way to do this without turning into a Lifetime movie?
- Prostitution is illegal where we live (NYC) - would accepting money for someone watching us count as prostitution since there is would be no physical contact with the person paying?
- Would this turn a fun hobby into a job we don't feel like doing? I like to bake cakes but I always felt like doing it as a profession would take all of the fun out of it, once it was an obligation. If we decided to do it, what are the best ways to make sure we don't lose the enjoyment?
- Would the addition of money make the risks significantly greater than what we're already doing? I mean, we already have total strangers coming to our home to have crazy kinky sex with us, and we've been careful to mitigate the risks of having strangers come over, as well as to keep the details of our sex life private. My husband shares custody of his child with his ex-wife, and we are extremely careful not to let our sex life impact our role as parents already.
-I have no desire to do this full time or make it a career. We have no plans to stop looking for better paying real jobs, and that is our end goal. I am just looking at this as a a temporary stop-gap measure so we don't have to completely deplete the meager savings we have left, or to start raiding the 401k accounts.
Anyway, I would love to hear from anyone who has an informed opinion or personal experience with this arena - I'm sure lots of people would find this a horrifying proposition in any way, which is fine, but I'd really like to get input from people who know the ropes. Thanks!
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