I think my best friends are dating behind my back which hurts my feelings. To further complicate matters, I like one of the best friends in a romantic way and I don't know how to deal with the whole situation. Help!!!
I asked this question
a week or so ago.
Since then, a lot of things have happened that has made me way
more confused than I was before. In fact, confused might not be the right word... bothered might be more appropriate.
He has broken up with his long distance girlfriend. A mutual friend of ours (who is a bit of a gossip but generally not a liar) mentioned that she thinks he and my other best friend are dating because she has seen them out on late night walks and when she goes to visit her boyfriend who is roommates with him, my friend is never there and often gone for the whole night.
Yet, when we all hang out as a group, he is still very touchy with me in ways that I would expect someone with a girlfriend or someone who is dating would not do. He'll lie down with his head on my lap or put his hand on my head when we talk for no reason and so on - little things like that.
I still don't think I want to pursue this. Partially because I think he might already be dating my best friend and if I confess, I'll just look stupid. I also think it's a passing sort of crush. Yet, I need tips on getting over this without alerting them that I like him. I can't just stop hanging out with them because we hang out quite a lot. If I stop suddenly, it seems strange.
I also need to come to terms that he and my other best friend may be dating. I realize they don't have to tell me anything and they might have their reasons for not telling me. I think I would be happy for them, but the fact that they are really secretive about it is really hurting my feelings. I'll feel like we're on uneven ground - all the times I've hung out with them thinking we're all friends when in fact, I'm just some third wheel. It'll feel like everything we did was insignificant and based on lies. I know I am sounding dramatic, but I have trust issues. I need to feel like I am worth telling things and I need to feel that I am valued as a friend or else I feel stupid and used. So how do I deal with this? If they do tell me later on, how do I continue being friends with them without feeling like a big fool?
Also, meanwhile, how should I act? I am already withdrawing and acting weird with them because I feel alone. I'm also insanely paranoid that nothing they tell me is the truth. I should trust them, but I've had a history of having friends stab me in the back and as a result, I'm over-the-top paranoid about things like this.
Sorry - this is a bit of a scattered question. There's so many things going on...