Starting over at 24
November 23, 2012 7:11 AM Subscribe
I'm 24 and very recently my first serious relationship (7 years) ended. Starting over with my life after my first traumatic upset and in need of some recommendations for... well, life (career, relationships, finances, the whole gamut). (please forgive the length)
posted by znith to education (11 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
At 17, freshly graduated from high school, I moved (read: fled) to Texas to live with my ex from my home state of Michigan, leaving behind my family, friends and quite literally everything I knew. I did it with zero life skills, I now realize. A little over a week ago, my ex and I called it quits due to some trust issues and a lack of happiness on both counts, though our communication lines are open and we talk about trying again in the future "as fully functioning adults." I had been working odd jobs and going to school to be certified as a pharmacy technician, with my ultimate goal being pharmacy school. Things went south just a few weeks before my midway-point and due to the living situation I had to leave the state without finishing, quit my job and pile my worldly trappings (not much) into my van and drive away. In the process, I left (again) my whole life - my friends, my dog, my home, my hobbies, my boyfriend, the state I'd learned to love as my own, and it was and is extraordinarily jarring and physically painful. My ex and I are close and there is still a lot of love between us, and although he frequents my mind and I am brokenhearted, I know that I must focus on making myself a better person, so I've come full circle and I'm back at my childhood home trying to start all over again. I have no friends in the area anymore and I've been dealing with all of this mostly alone (hence the wordiness, I suppose).
I feel that when I fled my home and tried to force myself into adulthood with no tools or knowledge, I doomed myself to become dependent on my ex, socially unskilled and financially tactless. I've become uncertain about my career path and came home with a slew of personal problems (I have a DBA which I don't know how to dissolve, I owe tuition on my former program and can't pay, I am emotionally arrested in development and very depressed, etc.). Reading queries from successful adults and people who really have it together on this forum, I feel small and stupid and entirely unprepared for the world and I hope badly that I'm not judged too harshly for my circumstance. I feel that I made an impulsive teenage decision and failed to learn how to be a grown-up along the way, and I don't want to spend a lot of time moping around feeling sorry for myself over it.
I have two queries for all of you, the first being personal: has anyone else ever been in a situation like this, where you had to begin again especially as a young adult? Is it possible to pick up the pieces and make something good again? Should I be so consumed with shame? How do you move forward after reaching that place?
My second question is this: I would like to re-start college and do it properly this time (being at home gives me more freedom to do so and I know I won't be afforded this opportunity again). I would like to go into the medical field and have considered nursing school. What would it take for me to be accepted into a program for nursing in the Flint/Detroit area and what are some good schools for those of you with experience?