Wrongful death in the family. In lieu of flowers / Memorial donations?
Help me, hive mind.
I'm handling the aftermath of my mother's tragic death, overwhelmed with details, and looking for some specific ideas and suggestions. My cognition is still impaired from trauma and lack of sleep; I'm having problems with memory, focus, decisions, and attention deficit so please bear with me. Just up front: I'm already in counseling and doing what I can to take care of me.
I'm setting up a domain with a word press engine that will have information about services and a way for people to comment and let us know if they are coming, etc.
My initial thought was "In lieu of flowers" and I should set up a list of charities that my mother actively supported or would approve up, possibly through a memorial fund that people could contribute to, that we could disburse from, some of which could help fund a memorial marker. We will be very clear about what the money is for and where it is going. I haven't worked out yet what the appropriate charities are.
Reading the wikipedia article on "in lieu of flowers"
is interesting. We'd love lots of flowers at the service, but I don't want it to feel like too much is wasted on them. I will speak to the Pastor about how to handle some of this - she has plenty of experience.
What I'm wondering about specifically:
* Is this simply a bad idea? Any better ideas?
* How do I handle "some" versus "no" flowers?
* What are the best online mechanisms for setting up a donation fund?
It looks like http://www.chipin.com could work. Good? Bad? Better?
* What charities might I consider?
* Are there legal issues I should be aware of?
I would assume money received that we pass on to a charity we could theoretically ignore
(it would wash out anyway), but money used for a memorial marker would technically be income.
Should these efforts be separated?
* Any other obvious questions I'm missing?
Anything you can offer would be much appreciated.