Dating, much like magnets, are difficult to understand.
November 22, 2012 1:40 AM Subscribe
Never been on a date and approaching my mid-20's, so I should probably figure out what I'm doing wrong, eh?
posted by Geektox to Human Relations (38 answers total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
I'm a 20 someodd fairly tall, fit-ish Chinese dude.
At least in my close group of friends, I'm an obvious outlier. Most are in committed relationships spanning years now, and at the current moment, none are single.
I guess I feel a slight tinge of pressure to start paying more attention to my personal life, but I've never really been able to make heads or tails of how it all works.
I can talk to women just fine, though never in any sort of romantic context, since most of the women my age I talk to on a regular basis are either my friends' girlfriends or girls I'm not romantically interested in. Also, I work from home and as a result I haven't really been meeting new people, so the growth of my social circle is stagnant for the time being.
This led me to put up an OKCupid profile, but most of the girls in my city tend to be into "yoga, the ocean, my friends, and laughing" and while I'm certainly not against any of those things, I'd prefer someone a little more interesting and lively. The couple of girls that I did message did not reply, either.
Plus, from what my friends describe of their first dates, arranged online or otherwise, it just all seems like a big ol' scramble to market yourself as best as possible; whereas I find the idea of "friends first, date second" more appealing, but again, not having any luck on that front.
My family arranged a couple of dates, but they were all much more immersed in Asian culture than I am and speak very little English (my Chinese is at a grade-school level, if that) so I vetoed those before they even happened.
By the way, I don't want to sound bitter, I feel more or less neutral about this whole thing, though reading this post over I feel like a huge dweeb.
Are my expectations just too unrealistic? Am I a lot more socially inept than I thought? How do I even meet people in my situation?