Am I thinking too much of the contact I'm keeping with past hookups?
November 18, 2012 9:58 AM Subscribe
All my past hook-ups (ex-bf included) are proactive in keeping in touch with me long-distance, and it makes me feel so giddy inside! BUT...should I think anymore of it, or is just it a thing people do?
posted by 01080591 to human relations (6 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
Ever since a rather dramatic breakup with my boyfriend a year ago, I had surprisingly done a good job getting over it over time and generally just having fun being almost done with school and having a lot of friends in the same neighborhood. Along the way, I dated around a bit and reconnected with some past hookups that I always had an amicable relationship with. We would go out for drinks, mini-trips, dinner dates, concerts, the beach, etc.. They were great people and got me to really enjoy casual dating again. In fact, I was in such a good place in life that the ex and I even reconciled and dated for the remaining time that I was in the city!
However, after graduating 6 months ago, I moved 8,000 miles to go home (where I had been away for 8 years to study abroad) for a job that seemed like a good start for my career. So, with the most bittersweet feelings I had to part ways with everybody in town, at least for the short term, for the professional opportunities back home. While I had expected my friends to stay in touch with me, I am pleasantly surprised by the contact I have been keeping with the hookups and the ex-boyfriend! We would email/gchat/skype 1-2 times a week, where we would talk about work, family, and life in general. Occasionally, we would get into "deeper" stuff like where we think our lives might be heading, or what our goals are, and admit to miss each other...I'm even entering a professional competition with one of them who is in the same field with me!
So I guess to frame the question: The kinds of talk that I've maintaining with these guys have made me realize that they are people I truly enjoy being with, and want to keep in my life, and it also got me fantasizing about perhaps developing a real monogamous relationship with any one of them. However, although I already made plans to visit soon, I think I'm likely to stay in my home country for another 1.5-2 years before I move back for another degree/job. Additionally, I've been meeting new people here back home, and it seems silly to hold back from potential relationships just because I'm talking weekly online to people I used to see...all in all, I just think that I'm held back by the fact that I don't know where I'll be geographically for the next 3-5 years of my life, and it's really screwing with my head right now because I do feel ready to be in a committed relationship! So should I think nothing more of the correspondence I've been keeping with the guys from town (while still maintaining it), and just focus on the life I have right now? Or do you see any potential in suggesting to them that I am interested in a more serious relationship? And finally, is this kind of continuous online contact just very common among people in non-platonic relationships these days? (Thank you for your answers in advance!)