Did giving my SO the benefit of the doubt made me blind to the red flags
November 15, 2012 6:48 PM Subscribe
Do you give your SO the benefit of the doubt or do you trust your gut feelings?
posted by feastorfamine to Human Relations (30 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
My ex, who has more dating experience, taught me a lot qualities while we were together, among them kindness, patience, and giving people the benefit of the doubt. It's never good to assume and I really took that last lesson to heart. It's made me a much calmer person and I didn't "pick fights" as often as I did to exes in my previous relationships.
Some things have come to light since she dumped me a month ago. I believe she has been deceiving me while we were together. I've always had a pretty good gut feeling that is usually right. But because I was always giving her benefit of the doubt, I tend to hold my tongue when she does something that I didn't quite agree with (and then the issues usually do go away so there's no need to bring them up again). I'm beginning to think that always giving someone the benefit of the doubt has dulled my intuition.
What is the balance between giving someone the benefit of the doubt and trusting my gut feelings?
How do I make sure I don't make the same mistake again in future relationships?