dating a depressive - post mortem
November 15, 2012 1:39 PM Subscribe
I've been dating a depressive for about 4 months and just recently called things off with him because I couldn't handle all the baggage that comes with dating one - like withdrawal or detachment, in communication or otherwise. It was fine for the first couple months but when he got given longer hours at work, we communicated/saw each other less to the point where I sounded like I was practically begging him for time to meet.
posted by brokenwitch to human relations (30 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
One recent (rather embarrassing) incident was when I sent him an explicit 'booty' call - of which he didn't respond! I was so embarrassed I actually texted him the next morning about how embarrased I was! He surprisingly replied shortly after and told me not to be silly and that he found it sweet and kind of funny. I'd think any healthy, heterosexual man would probably be over without thinking twice! He apologized though for not responding because he was feeling 'terrible' that night.
So jump to today where I called it off with him in a text msg. I couldn’t wait around for much longer for him to even give me time so I just told him I know he’s going through a lot (with work and his depression etc..) and the last thing he probably needs is me chasing him for his time. I also told him I’ve tried to be accomdating and even told him how I did my research on depression to further understand – I still like and care about him but I couldn’t do this anymore. He simply replied with “I understand” and that’s it. A friend told me that it sounds like this has happened to him before - that people often let him down/leave him...etc.. - which makes me feel guilty. As much as I'd like to move on, I also would like to tell him that I'm here for him if he wants someone to talk to as a friend. I don't know what I should do and hoping you good people at metafilter can help a sista out. Thanks.
I don't know if this helps but we're both in our early to mid 30s. Also, we're both live in city far away from our families and have only a handful of friends nearby.