Are you ready for marriage?
November 14, 2012 2:26 PM Subscribe
I want to get married. Help me get over my fear of marriage.
posted by chaiminda to human relations (21 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
I have been with my boyfriend for three years. We love each other and want to get married. I often happily imagine having babies with him and doing fun stuff together as we get older. I know I want him around until I die.
Nonetheless, the idea of actually getting married petrifies me. It makes sense for us to get married soon, for various reasons, but when I imagine doing it I get a sick fear feeling in my stomach. I'm a naturally anxious-about-change person (recently reduced to complete panic at the prospect of picking out new paint colors) so it makes sense that making this huge leap scares me. My parents also had a horrible marriage and divorce, which was really emotionally damaging to me as a child.
Of course I have been to a therapist to discuss all this, but either I didn't go for long enough, or I need a different approach. Does anyone have any advice about getting over this kind of fear? Are there good books about this topic (preferably not aimed at men, though I know I'm in the traditionally "male" position here).
I would appreciate no comments along the lines of "if you're not ready now he's not the right guy." I don't believe in there being "the" guy but he is right for me.