Goodbye to all that?
November 14, 2012 1:52 PM Subscribe
When is it time to move?
posted by dekathelon to Work & Money (38 answers total)
I'm coming up on two years in NYC, and I'm wondering if I'm not cut out for it and if it would be best for everyone involved if I got the fuck out. I'm asking it here because my default reaction to everything is the path of least resistance.
Reasons to go:
* I'm running out of money. I don't have a full-time job, not even a part-time one, and I'm unemployable. I don't have any "real-world" work experience besides a summer job in high school I got fired from in two weeks and "working" at my dad's office. In my field, I'm in a weird place where I'm overqualified for entry-level - I've interviewed places and gotten "why do you even want this job" questions (then not hired, go figure) - but underqualified for anything else. I have freelance clients that are great and that I'm incredibly grateful for, but they aren't enough to pay rent. Unless something changes, SOON, I will be literally broke unless I ask my parents for money, which I don't want to do. (They're not doing so well either.)
* I'm running out of friends. The same thing is happening to many people I know, and I'm not the only one seriously considering moving. Which is their choice, but it means I have that much less reason to stay. Plus, I suspect something that's happened lately has really bothered my friend group to the point of not inviting me anywhere anymore. (I'd rather not get into details, but it involves a guy.) I'm home alone most nights anymore.
* Speaking of guys, I feel like I have exhausted the dating pool here. Which is insane, it's a major city, but I really do feel that way. My sister is getting married next summer. She's younger than me. And it's crazy young for her and I shouldn't feel upset about that, but here I am.
* My roommates hate me, and I'd rather not have to deal with them. It's to the point where I don't even feel comfortable in the place I'm paying rent for. I don't know if this is an issue with roommates in general (I've never ended up friends with a roommate) or with these people in particular, but it's an issue.
* All the "I just moved to NYC and I hate it" threads seem to say something like "it gets better after 3 months/6 months/a year!" It hasn't gotten better. If anything, it's gotten much worse. And it's gotten worse and stable, which makes me wonder if I've passed some kind of plateau.
Reasons not to move:
* My field is here. So much that it is a huge outlier for jobs in it to be anywhere else. Not to mention networking etc.
* My life is here. Where the hell would I go? My only real option is to move back in with my parents, in a small town where I don't know anyone, don't fit into the culture and don't even have a car so I wouldn't even be able to leave the house. I barely leave the house anyway as it is, but at least it's a distant possibility. Other than that, my options are to... be unemployable someplace else where I don't know anybody, and to pay moving fees and upend my life to do it?
* Along those lines, if I'm running out of money, then moving fees just pushes up the countdown.
* It feels like giving up, like I've trashed my life already before age 25.
I'm really sorry about all this. I just don't think I have anyone I can talk to about it, and I don't even know what options I have anymore.