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November 13, 2012 7:14 AM Subscribe
Been-waiting-for-a-girl-like-you filter. Will I never find my "type"? Does it matter?
posted by anonymous to human relations (39 answers total) 15 users marked this as a favorite
I am a walking cliche. I know this. My long-term ex and I have split, it's a year later, and I'm thinking a lot about choices -- partner choices, specifically, and wondering how much a lack of chemistry fed into the end of the last relationship (which worked in lots of other ways). If I tried to explain my "type" to anyone I know, they'd look at me like I'm a puzzle with missing pieces, because my ex was nothing like this and she's the only person they've seen me with. So two questions for you, really:
1) How much does "type" matter and should I just try to forget about it?
2) What experience have you had going against "type"?
Specifics: Personality-wise, I like strong, capable women. Physically, I like somewhat androgynous women -- I find a boyish haircut to be a particular turn-on (but am not attracted to boys/men), and my ideal would be someone my height or close to it. Result: I have excellent taste in gay women. It's always been this way. I bat maybe 9 in 10. (eventually dating a couple of these women, rather complicatedly, but that seems like the path to self-punishment)
It's in turns amusing and frustrating. The kind of woman who seems to be attracted to me tends to be very feminine and "traditional". What can I do? I get that internet dating makes sense in theory given that it seems to excel at uniting members of disparate groups, but I'm doubtful.
How important is chemistry? Are my particular tastes simply too unrealistic, given social norms?