All rape is rape, amirite?
November 10, 2012 10:24 PM Subscribe
My boyfriend made me incredibly angry with rape-related victim-blaming arguments of "people just shouldn't put themselves in risky situations" tonight. I can't make my point eloquently enough. Point me toward someone who can?
posted by R a c h e l to Religion & Philosophy (62 answers total) 21 users marked this as a favorite
We've been dating for a little while, and I adore him more than anything, and he's literally the only person I've felt this seriously about, and this is still breakup territory for me.
He calls himself a feminist, but said that he would tell his daughter that went to a known-rapey-frat that she should have tried to avoid it should she get raped (or at least think it).
Personally, I think that rape is 100% the fault of the rapist, and while of course no one should needlessly put themselves in a dangerous situation, women (and everyone else) should be able to complete normal life tasks (including a social life) without fear of sexual assault or blame should something happen, and what we need to do about problematic situations we both see is change the culture that allows them to hide in plain sight.
His main argument is "listen, people should just avoid risk when possible, and yeah, those who put themselves in risky situations are being stupid and irresponsible." I've tried the car analogies and quoted how much of rape happens from those we know, but neither have been powerful metaphors. I'm looking for videos or essays (or talking points) that explain my "side." Or hey, tell me if I'm off base, although I'm pretty sure I'm not.