How can I connect with my sister?
November 7, 2012 10:55 AM Subscribe
How do I develop and nurture a relationship with a family member with whom I share little in common besides mutual respect and a desire to build closeness?
posted by little_dog_laughing to Human Relations (14 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
Here are some things we've tried: Taking on crafts projects that are new to us both. Her teaching me something I don't know (knitting). Sharing an activity night in a group. Chatting over tea. Meeting for lunch.
We're sisters and I just find it hard to talk with her about things I find interesting, and the things that are important in her life are just so different than what directly plays out for me. She's more than 10 years older, and I admire and respect her a lot. I think those feelings are mutual.
I think I understand her, but maybe I don't. I do not think she understands me. She asks the wrong questions, like she's missing the point of what I'm saying. It's been like this forever-- I'm in my early 30's, how can I change it?
It's gotten to the point where she's been inviting me to spend more time with her, and, in a way, I would prefer not to. But, in another way, she's such a great person, and so kind and awesome, that I'd like to find a way to connect with her.
I should maybe add that she is a busy mom and I have no desire for children.
I'm tapped out of ideas for things to do or talk about (but, I'm pretty decent at keeping conversation going for conversation's sake; it just seems entirely superficial, and I'm not into it). Also, I'm a full-on introvert feeling like she wants me around (A) to develop a fun, meaningful, sisterly relationship, and (B) because I'm a warm body to share space with. I am on board with reason 'A', but I can't at all relate to reason 'B'. I'm starting to feel like my spending time with her is almost charitable of me. And, because she's so sweet and I love her, it's breaking my heart. Help!