Rave Filter: am I going in with the right expectations?
posted by Sine_Agraphia to society & culture (27 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
Here's the low-down on my life these days:
Unhappy, but stuck, with a poor living situation. It's bearable.
Unhappy, but stuck, with a crap job situation. It's bearable.
Overworked, run down, fairly isolated--and when I do get to see friends, I find it increasingly difficult to switch gears to perform the rituals of casual conversation after 5 grueling days of 11-12 hour work shifts.
All I want to do is let go, relax, have fun... but, I do not want to do this alone.
The other night, I stayed over an ex-girlfriend's house (she has heat in her apartment and, due to Sandy, I don't). Over the years we've had a colorful, positive history of dating, being friends, fooling around, remaining platonic thereafter, and all around providing intimate, caring companionship for one another. I hadn't seen her for months, and last night sharing the bed with her... it just felt so nice to have some casual human contact, warmth, and to give and receive affection without worrying about conventions or obligations. Platonic or otherwise, we enjoy having this type of chill, respectful and caring experience, and it's great to have her in my life, with no wants or worries.
But, she's not really in my life. She lives rather far and out of the way, and we're both very busy with our own routines, and in general, I'm really not looking for a girlfriend or a friends with benefits situation, though loneliness does creep along... I just want an opportunity to experience positive, care-free, human-to-human, perhaps sexual (but not necessarily or even ideally), interaction. An environment that promotes warmth, respect and just letting yourself go with other people around you, being weird, being active.
As an outsider looking in, this is the conception I've come to form of the typical rave experience. However, I know that there isn't really a typical *anything* experience, and perhaps living in NYC as I do, there is a very, very wide range of potential experiences, from venue to venue, neighborhood to neighborhood, music genre to genre. Yet when I browse pictures online and of my raver friends' escapades, there seems to be an awful lot of touching, happy-go-lucky, making out-y going on, not to mention all the awesome costumes, dancing and smiles. I think I would enjoy it. Chance encounters with strangers, not afraid to be weird, shameless flirting, holding, grinding, making out, letting go, exploring elsewhere--letting off some steam and, ideally, feeling that you've made other people happy as well, in the process.
Is this at all a realistic expectation?
And just a disclaiming aside: I'm very aware of the importance of consent, and am not fishing for invitations or excuses to throw myself upon drugged out girls who have no idea what's going on, or do anything that would generally be considered rude, unsolicited, abusive or otherwise f***ed up.
The thing is, I would be going to a rave with one main desire, which would be to experience this kind of "free love"--non-sexual, or, perhaps, sexual--that I found to be really healthy the other night with my special friend. And in particular, during this dark, cold, post-hurricane period of my life. Please, mefite rave veterans, share with me your experiences, bring some reality check into my reverie, and if it seems a good thing to do, recommend me a venue, an event, or a DJ to steer me in the right direction :)
*apologies for my hopeful excitation, which has resulted in fairly consistence abuse of commas