Condimental Journeyposted by SLC Mom at 12:02 PM on November 3, 2012 [3 favorites]
When it's time to do chores around my house, we are all of the same mind: If it's not causing anyone any actual pain, we'd rather put it off. But sometimes it just feels better to get things a little more under control, at least for a moment, when the chores cry out for attention. And so on selected Saturdays I sometimes find myself faced with a chore that has reached monumental proportions.
I spent my last Saturday on such a chore, doing nothing but emptying out the refrigerator and freezer and letting it defrost. I'm hoping that defrosting it will help to curb that alarming KLUNK I hear every time it shuts off, but I'm not holding my breath. At any rate, it was worth a try, and while it defrosted I scrubbed it spotless, a wonderful change from its previous nauseating condition. This lifted my spirits considerably, but as it turns out cleaning out the fridge also has its wistful side for a sensitive, paternal man who cooks for his family.
Some things are fresh and only need to wait in the ice chest for the cooling to be turned on again. Others are easy to get rid of, like that shriveled green thing in the vegetable drawer, and the leaky bag of blue ice, or the powdery blue block in the cheese drawer. But the condiments!
A jar of Tandoori sauce with half a teaspoon gone where I tasted it, now 6 months old, but probably still OK. I wanted to make some tandoori chicken, but the recipe is strangely daunting...
Pink Grapefruit marmalade, which sounded pretty good, looks great, and tastes good if you're in that kind of mood. Which I seldom am, it turns out, and the rest never are. So the ingénue jars of strawberry and blackberry jam come and go, but my grapefruit marmalade is living out a bitter and neglected old age, seldom visited.
Pickled zucchini, bought at least a year ago at the church bazaar, pale green pieces floating in pale green liquid, like some kind of ghostly specimen and definitely not inspiring any notion of eating them, but I have never spoken to MM about them, and she is the one who bought the jar back then. And to top it off, the jar is still sealed, and that along with the church connection gives them a kind of sanctity they wouldn't otherwise have.
I condensed the mini dill pickles into two open jars. During one week last summer the kids went through three jars of pickles, so I stocked up. That's when they got sick of them, and they haven't eaten a pickle since. Maybe there is a recipe for pickle casserole I can use to get the numbers down to a manageable level.
There's that half-tub of miso. My constant companion for three years now, and still hanging in there. About once a year I crave miso soup.
A half-jar of horseradish. Probably too old to use now. Can't even remember the last time I served roast beef. I should make it again sometime soon...
Raspberry mustard. Sounds like a great idea, but really way too sweet. The same with the honey mustard. They're history.
Chinese hot chili sauce, a pint bottle, half gone after two years. How can you tell if it's gone bad? Kung pao stir-fry: I should make it next week.
Sauerkraut in a Tupperware container. A little dark, but still sour. Should I buy sausage so I can use up the kraut? It would be the tail wagging the dog, but...with some French rolls... the bockwurst lunch we had the day I opened the jar was pretty good, and deserves repeating.
Speaking of kraut, here's some of Harry Kim's Won Bok Kimchee, sealed tightly in its jar. I'm the only one who eats it, and when I do it always reminds me of feasts I had while in the Moonies.
Has it turned? Don't get me started about Kim Chee. It's too easy. With its price sticker it reminds me that in these inflated times Won Bok now costs about three fifty. But beef pergogie and rice, with Kim Chee...sometime...
Four tablespoons of Florida Key lime juice. It's got some white sediment, but can lime juice go bad? I thought I used that up months ago. Never did make Key lime pie, though...
Why should there be such deep emotional ties with the condiments nestled in the deep recesses of my fridge? Getting rid of not quite expired ingredients is somehow like sending your children off to orphanages, like drowning kittens. Still, it has to be done. I can't string them along forever. I feel that I made a promise to them back when we all were younger, of culinary glory, which, sadly, I have not followed through on. In these unfulfilled dreams there is a kind of poignancy that stays my hand at the brink of the trash bin.
Perhaps that is why I'm so frazzled today. I will end up doing the job, and starting over. Some of the condiments will be given new hope, new promises, others will have to go on to that big Frigidaire in the sky. And I'll be needing a few moments of silence to mourn their passing.
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posted by matildaben at 11:25 AM on November 3, 2012 [2 favorites]