What to do about a friend who doesn't make time for me and other friends
November 2, 2012 1:00 PM Subscribe
What is this kind of behavior? I have a friend who constantly turns down invitations to do anything because she says her life is so busy.
posted by spooky car to human relations (40 answers total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
It's true, she is busy, as we all are. The thing that bothers me is that whenever she declines an invitation, she goes into great detail about what she's doing instead.
For instance, a response to an invitation to make plans for a group dinner was "You better do it before such and such date as I'm not going to be around after that and you won't see much of me until the new year. I'm also not available on any Mondays, Wednesdays or Fridays."
When someone in our group of friends proposes something, her response is about where she will be instead, who she will be with and what she and the people she will be with are doing. The tone is cold and she makes things sound like an inconvenience to her. Her tone almost has a bragging quality to it; I say this because she is always the first person to respond.
She often becomes involved with new activities (and new people) in kind of an obsessive way. An example: Taking a class and then suddenly taking 3 classes and hanging around the people in those classes.
On the other hand, she tells me she misses me and wants to get together. We used to be much closer, but it's difficult to stay friends with someone who is constantly turning you down.
I'm just wondering if others have encountered this type of person and what you've done. Do I just stop including her in things or try to talk to her about it?