Female-friendly porn, please

October 30, 2012 11:23 AM

Please help us find some positive and empowering sexy movies, stories, and/or assorted other porn-ish materials.

My wife recently (and for the very first time) expressed an interest in watching porn and/or reading sexy stories. I want to support her interest and help her find something that she will enjoy! However, the wrong kind of porn (the mainstream porny kind, basically) will turn her off, and fast. So, I'd like your help in curating something fun for her. She's not a mefite, but I am going to show her this thread if there are a lot of good suggestions in it.

Here's what she's looking for:

-- Heterosexual, two people, consensual sex, both people clearly happy and into what they're doing

-- Female-friendly, positive, empowering, sexy as hell

-- Empowering, repeated for emphasis. I know that's a tricky word, and means lots of things to lots of people, but let's stick to a straightforward definition here. (For our purposes, neither of us are interested in seeing the woman "own" her male-determined role, etc.)

-- Softer or less explicit things might be best, especially at this early stage

-- Arty or stylish seems good; honestly humorous (or just good-humored) would be good too; on the other hand, "edgy" or flippant or jaded or too-cool is not considered sexy in our house

-- Bonus points for scenes where one or both people are standing, or where the woman is lifted up onto a desk or table, or is hanging off the edge of some furniture (these things excite my wife, and long may it be so)

I don't really know where to find porn that meets the above criteria. Mainstream or free porn sites seem like they would be way too aggressive for what she wants. I know there are purveyors of artsy (clean, well-lit, tasteful) stuff -- do any of them cater to women?

Would it be easy to filter the desired signal from the noise at a site like Literotica?

Another thought I had was that we might be able to find some amateur stuff that fit all of the above conditions, so any specific recommendations along those lines would be helpful. Maybe something where the woman does some or all of the camera work, or...? I don't know. As I mentioned, this is not well-known territory for me.

Throwaway email for direct suggestions, questions, etc: [e-mail]

Thanks for any and all help!

posted by anonymous to media & arts (15 answers total)

It may not be exactly what you are looking for but Comstock Films has a series of documentary-ish films that show real couples talking about their relationships and having (hot) sex. I believe there are clips on that site where you can watch a bit and see if it trips your trigger.
posted by SweetTeaAndABiscuit at 12:00 PM on October 30, 2012

Since "softer or less explicit" may be better, you may wish to try some of the weekly series on Cinemax After Dark. I don't know what "empowering" means, but you might want to check out the series of Life on Top or Lingerie. Girl's Guide to Depravity also might work. If you are a Cinemax subscriber, you can view past episodes on demand through the Go Max service.
posted by Tanizaki at 12:18 PM on October 30, 2012

I enjoy a movie on Netflix instant stream called "Sweet Sex and Love." It's foreign and I honestly haven't paid any attention to the storyline, but the sex (simulated but very realistic) is hot and the couple is, uh, quite happy.
posted by _Mona_ at 12:18 PM on October 30, 2012

This suggestion may be a bit more explicit than you are looking for, but hopefully the spectrum of answers in this thread will even things out.

My wife and I happen to like watching porn together as well, and really like Tristan Taormino's "Chemistry" series for awesome, sex-and-woman-positive porn. While these movies star actual porn stars, they have essentially self-selected themselves and their costars, and actually want to be there. Definitely not soft, but also definitely sex-positive and everyone is obviously having a good time.

The interviews interspersed can also be pretty funny, and certainly help to humanize the stars a little.

Also another vote for Comstock, and you might want to check out makelovenotporn.tv even though it's still in beta and I have no idea if it will ever develop into a full service.
posted by homotopy at 12:40 PM on October 30, 2012 [2 favorites]

Sex is Not the Enemy has awesome photos just the sort you are looking for (though not exclusively hetero).
posted by Pineapplicious at 12:44 PM on October 30, 2012 [1 favorite]

Also, you might want to check this related ask..
posted by Pineapplicious at 12:49 PM on October 30, 2012

Browse Blowfish's Couples listings. The descriptions are honest.
posted by seanmpuckett at 12:52 PM on October 30, 2012

My wife and I got a lot of good answers on a similar question previously.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 12:56 PM on October 30, 2012

Anything Tristan Taormino. Nthing the "Chemistry" series (where the women choose their co-stars and "run" the scenes.

Also the mainstream-ish movie "En La Cama" has an interesting story and interesting sex.
posted by softlord at 12:59 PM on October 30, 2012

Comstock's already been mentioned, but yes.

Erika Lust's work (LustFilms). Her aesthetic is purposefully female-friendly: consensual, empowering, nice plot framing, less-explicit (you can see what's happening but it's not at all laser-focused on the genitals), arty/stylish.

She has two shorts free to watch online - Room 33 and Handcuffs. A good place to start might be Life Love Lust (three 10-minute shorts packaged together) - the scenes are quite natural looking, non-kink, and shot with a lot of respect for the actors.
posted by flex at 1:22 PM on October 30, 2012

For movies, X-Art is a good place to start; explicit but artsy and has straight, lesbian, and solo. I've seen interviews with actors that said they enjoyed their experience with them. You could check out /r/passionx or /r/ChickFlixxx at Reddit for more movie suggestions. A few of the bigger porn companies have started releasing "romance" lines, too, particularly New Sensations and Wicked. As for stories, I don't know if Literotica has a filter for romance stories, but I know ASSTR lets authors tag stories as "rom" for romantic.
posted by zombieflanders at 2:33 PM on October 30, 2012

Tristan Taormino is great. James Deen is great. Also Danny Wylde. Anything produced by Tristan Taormino featuring James Deen is likely to be fantastic. Hey Epiphora is pretty much my favorite blog ever and she sometimes reviews porn, so that's a good starting point for videos.
posted by oranger at 3:28 PM on October 30, 2012 [2 favorites]

I can't link because I'm on a work computer, but James Deen did an amazing scene with Nicole Ray that seems to be universally loved by women. If you google their names you should find it pretty quickly.
posted by the essence of class and fanciness at 6:02 PM on October 30, 2012 [1 favorite]

That would be The Babysitter, which is, yeah, super happy and lovey and boyfriend-girlfriend-ish but still definitely porn.
posted by nebulawindphone at 7:42 PM on October 30, 2012

It doesn't look like it's quite launched yet, but Make Love Not Porn is intended to be a site for "real world sex" videos, rather than one only focused on male fantasy. The woman behind it seems to be aiming for empowerment, too. Hopefully it pans out!
posted by vasi at 10:22 PM on October 30, 2012