Not uninvited, just never invited.
October 29, 2012 1:23 PM Subscribe
Baby Shower Etiquette: My bestie is throwing me a baby shower at her Aunt's house. It is a tiny event of only 8 people- all adults (Our Moms, mother in laws, my sister in law & bestie's Aunt). I didn't really expect anyone to throw me a shower, so I am super grateful the she and her Aunt would take this on! My Mother in law sent me an email last night asking if my 8 y/o niece was invited...
posted by MayNicholas to human relations (23 answers total)
It never occurred to me to invite my niece. I just assumed that since I am not the host, & formal invites were sent addressed individually, that was that. My brother & sister in law live out of town, so I didn't even expect her to come- and I told her it was no biggie before the invites were sent. She is pregnant too and may not feel like traveling. Therefore, the niece never entered my mind. She would be bored to tears!
So when I got the email I didn't think anything of it and just said that I was not the host and doubted they planned for children and that they may have some more adult themed ideas about shower games.
Then I told my best friend today and she said my brother in law sent her an email a few days ago saying he was emailing to RSVP on behalf of said niece, but didn't know if sister in law would be coming. She was confused because she didn't invite the niece- or why brother in law was handling this anyway. She didn't respond because she thought the whole thing odd, but wanted to see if I knew something she didn't.
I really don't care if my niece comes, but I would rather she not. I like her, she is sweet, but I know she won't have fun. She is SUPER shy, even around me, and it means my MIL will spend all her time entertaining her and not get to enjoy the shower. That is the best case scenario.
Worst case, that my best friend is worried about (as am I) is that BFF's mom will say well if this little girl is here, let me call your sister in law (my best friend's sister in law) and have her bring over her kids. They are very ill behaved and the sister in law is as pleasant to be around as a hemroid. My best friend and her Aunt worry that they would ruin the event.
At this point we are going to just wait and see. It was odd that my MIL never responded to my email. I don't want to start a crap storm or anything. I don't want them to be offended that my niece wasn't invited. My bestie and I don't have any friends with children, so it wasn't something we thought about.
She is not going to respond to the brother in laws email and I am not going to say anything further. Am I expected to? I really don't know the etiquette on this situation. I have never been to a baby shower & it is not my home & I am not the host so I'm not sure how I should handle this.