How to get over insecurity about boyfriend's divorce?
October 28, 2012 9:03 AM Subscribe
What can I do to stop insecurity from boyfriend's from seeing into our relationship? The divorce isn't final, and it's placing a strain on our relationship. I'm afraid that my anger/confusion/fear may sabotage the relationship.
posted by lastcall17 to human relations (14 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I have been friends with my boyfriend for awhile now. When we first met, he was going through a separation but he and his ex got back together. They stayed together for a few months and eventually decided to divorce. There are no kids in the marriage. His ex now lives in another state a 2 1/2-3 days drive away. I am supposed to have dinner at his mother's in the following week, and I have also met his sister and we (sister and I) are attempting to form some sort of relationship (not a close one, but getting on friendlier terms). We spend a majority of our free time together, go to church together, and we have been out of town as well together.
The ex isn't jumping to sign the papers. I know that these things take time, but I am becoming insecure because I feel as though my boyfriend may not be ready to cut all ties with this girl. This morning I told him we needed to slow it down because I got mad about something on social media. They are still keeping up with each other I'm assuming via that route because she posted a comment that only a girlfriend/wife would post on one of his recent pictures. And my boyfriend left it up. This is why I feel like they are not out of each others live. Last I heard, the ex has a new man and my bf is confused as to why she will not sign. It's making me mistrust my bf and when I bring these things up, it often comes off as hurtful to him or I end up stressing him out.
I do want to be with him, I appreciate his friendship and kindness, and I have never been in an relationship where I truly felt that the other person selflessly cares about me. I don't want to loose him because I am having a hard time dealing with the divorce. I know that this is not about me, and that this is something that he has to work through, but I feel like my insecurity will eventually make him want to throw in the towel if I add to the stress of the situation. At the same time, I don't want to remain silent about how I feel. What say ye?