I'm Dating Jerry Seinfeld's Bitter, Bitter Twin
October 22, 2012 3:47 PM Subscribe
Stressed, incredibly sarcastic and refuses to cuddle: Is this guy dateable?
posted by oceanview to human relations (35 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
I've been casually dating someone for 2 months now. We see each other once a week on average and his behaviour has morphed in the last couple of weeks from sarcastically funny to extremely wound up and bitter.
He's had a lot of work stress lately (almost quit) at his professional job and the last 2 times I saw him he's been very negative and wound up the entire night, bitching and complaining about everything imaginable, from the restaurant, to the people in the city we live in (he's not from here), to the people in his building, etc.
To be clear--he never picks on me, I'm just his sounding board.
He's generally outspoken, sarcastic, and "a ham" by self-admission. I've enjoyed these qualities in the time we've spent together, but the recent turn to negative venting has made him very un-fun to be around. He'll basically complain about everything he comes across, like an angry Jerry Seinfeld: "What the f*** is the deal with...??!!" I find some of his ranting amusing, but mostly, when we part ways I'm left thinking "Well, that was a chore."
Another side-effect of the stress seems to be that he won't cuddle me lately. Before, he would embrace me when we slept, etc but the other day I asked for a cuddle a couple of times and both times he got squirrely and basically refused. Could this be because of the stress?
Mind you, we do have some fun regardless. There are still laughs, good sex and interesting conversation sprinkled in amongst the venting, as well as fun texting between dates. I'm shy and don't find guys I want to date very often so I'll admit that part of the reason I'm still seeing him/walking on eggshells is that I'd rather be dating someone with some redeeming qualities than be single right now. I know that this clouds my judgment which is why I'm looking for advice.
I'm struggling with whether to just let this blow over as perhaps it's related to his work stress, or whether I should bring up how uncomfortable it is to be around him when he's in "vent" mode. I'm not sure how to put it to him without sounding unsupportive.