Help a shy girl recruit a wingwoman
October 22, 2012 2:55 PM Subscribe
How to make a best friend in university
posted by dinosaurprincess to human relations (19 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
Hi Askmefi! (Apologies for the tacky username) basically, I have just started university (it is my third week here) and I am living in like a giant hall building but have missed most of the orientation activities even though I have been around university, so I am in the awkward position of vaguely knowing everyone but not really knowing them
I've always made friends in every school I have been in, but it hasn't always been easy and it usually takes me like most of the year! Which sucks because it means that the first part of the year is lonely and painful and sometimes for a long part I forget who I am. I have also been depressed in the past for this reason, and while I have support systems in place and know how to manage my moods better, I just wish the first part of the year could be easier! I think I still might have low self-esteem and have panic attacks some mornings when I think about how I don't yet have friends and just spend the morning worrying and end up missing lectures.
I talk to people whenever I see them but I can't always think of things to say because I'm very very shy, and I try to go to meals and am interested and like people, generally speaking, but I don't feel witty or cool enough to be able ot make friends. I think I am capable of being witty and cool but only when I am relaxed, and I don't know how to relax around people or hang out with them without seeming desperate or clingy!! I guess I shouldn't try and rush things? But I don't want to seem too standoffish either?
I think what I really need is just a best friend figure, beyond that I don't think I will mind how many friends I have.. I just need someone who I can talk to and be myself around... I know this has become sort of a ramble about my worries but I guess what I really want to know is:
how to make friends in university? Specifically a really good best friend type figure who I can trust and hang out with in social situations?
Alternatively maybe you could share with me how you settled in to university and made friends, or how you became best friends with your best friend?
Thanks so much!! Sorry for the long post