How to get over being insulted (if I was?)
October 22, 2012 7:03 AM Subscribe
I'm wondering if I'm being too sensitive regarding a perceived slight from one of my friends at a party? I have a mild case of social anxiety which may be exacerbating this. Details inside.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (23 answers total)
I recently was at a birthday party with some friends - some close, some not. I've had social anxiety most of my life, but have made great strides by joining up for clubs, activities, attending parties like this one, etc. I am in my mid-20's.
Later on in the night, one of the guys was drawing caricatures of people at the party - when he got to me, he said something along the lines of "I'm going to have a hard time, it's always difficult when you're drawing such a good looking guy." Really playing it up and taking his time drawing.
Now, he's a bit of a jokester, and it was pretty obvious to me that he didn't mean anything by it, so I laughed it off and it didn't bug me too much. What rattled me more was hearing one of my close friends (who's a woman a decade older than me) saying "hey, that's mean!" after the "good looking guy" line. She said it a few times.
I took it to mean that she thought he was being mean for calling me good looking, when I am obviously not. I was very upset/shocked, and wondered why she would say something like that out of the blue. I tried to laugh it off, but it stayed with me the rest of the night.
As for my looks - I know I'm not the best looking guy in the world, but I'm certainly not ugly - I receive compliments and get hit on every once in a while. I think if I had a lower self-esteem regarding my appearance this would have hit me even harder.
I also have to take into account that alcohol was involved, so maybe she didn't really mean what was said. I also wonder if I am taking it the wrong way.
So I'm wondering - should I have a talk with her about it, or is it not a big enough deal? She has been a great source of emotional support when I am not doing well and I enjoy her company, so I would not like to write her out of my life or anything like that.
I'm bad at explaining things when talking, so I was thinking about sending an email and saying how I feel. Am I taking this too far? Am I being reasonable or do I need to toughen up?