Divorcee getting married for the second time and a full wedding's to be planned, mixed feelings on the wedding part. Tell me the personal side of your 2nd (+) wedding experiences.
I love and adore my man like I've never loved anyone before, and was in tears with happiness when he proposed last week, at Neist Point
on the Isle of Skye in Scotland (thanks for the travel recommendation, MeFi!). He's made a big sacrifice for me by leaving the military to end our long-distance situation (official as of yesterday!). We've talked a lot about our future together and have been steadily setting a solid foundation for it for some time now. We're ready for this next step.
I'm elated to be marrying him, but not so enthusiastic about having a wedding - I would rather elope or go to the JotP. Partly for the cost of it (we're planning on buying a house next year), moreso because it's my second wedding and that brings up negative feelings in several ways (more on that in a bit).
But he loves
weddings, I swear they're his favorite kind of social function. We've been to at least 10 weddings in the last 2 years, mostly for his friends. He loves all of it - the ceremony, the dressing up, the visiting with a ton of people you know and love, and especially the dance at the end. He wants a traditional wedding very badly, so for him I will do it. I will suck it up and work on get over my wedding hang-ups -- he's made big sacrifices for me, I will do the same for him. I've got no one to relate to on this though.
Hangups include but are not limited to the following:
My first was a traditional Catholic wedding when I was 21, it was awesome but I associate it with my ex :( Planning another one of similar magnitude (and probably general format), I've no choice but to relate to the experience of my first wedding, which I wish I could detach from my ex somehow. I feel embarrassed that it's not my first, that there's a negative stigma attached to it all. I dread the thought of someone making failed-humor comments of "well this time round maybe it'll stick", especially at the event. Yet I find my knee-jerk reaction to a lot of people getting giddy for me and treating me like a newbie bride who needs advice is "well, this is my second wedding" in a "don't patronize me" kind of way, which is rather negative and I wish I could stop doing that (this point, in particular!) At least there will hardly be anyone who's attended both weddings, besides close family - my social circle's changed quite a bit in a decade, as has our extended family. I still feel weird about asking them to help with another wedding for me - neither of my younger sisters have gotten married yet.
You're all thinking "well if he wants it, let him plan it on his own!" but a) I'm the planning type, he's not - logistical and financial ruin lie down that road and b) I'm warming up to the whole thing, slowly. We'll be planning it together.
I don't know anyone, let alone anyone still in prime 1st wedding age-range who have done a second wedding. I haven't been able to find much to read on other brides' 2nd (+) wedding experiences either (positive or negative) either. Even a real-life worst-scenario example would be appreciated, for perspective.
So really I'd like to hear about that from you - your stories, please!