Dating with ADHD
October 18, 2012 7:23 PM Subscribe
How to handle disclosing ADHD when dating? How would most people react?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (24 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
I was diagnosed with ADHD-inattentive type about a year ago, as an adult. Since treatment my life has changed a LOT - I can actually do things now! (Note: not interested in discussion about the validity of ADHD diagnosis unless it's related to the questions I have.)
I'm going to start looking to date (likely via online dating, at least in part) soon. I'm wondering how to handle disclosing both my ADHD, and my past. When should I mention I have ADHD (and how it's treated?)
Regarding my past, I present somewhat differently now. I'm organised, with a 4.0 GPA in a STEM course, responsible, semi-tidy, intelligent, laid-back, independent... My past pre-diagnosis was a few years of failed college with a GPA that was probably about 1.0, with a million unfinished projects, and a room that was an absolute mess, little social life and way too many video games. How can I avoid mentioning this part of my life until I know someone will be more than a casual aquaintance - without lies or saying 'I don't want to talk about it' ? How is a potential partner likely to handle this kind of history? (Note: no real health problems, drug problems, criminal history, debt, STD's, etc. - just failure.)
If it matters, the symptoms I still have are minor, such as occasionally being unable to watch a tv show through late at night once the meds have worn off. And talking a lot, including detours onto very random topics.
- ADHD is less accepted here (Australia) than US, and also less known
- I take dexamphetamine to treat it. I'm also against recreational drug use (even alcohol, excluding a drink or two socially.) I don't consider my prescription medication to be in this category, but I don't know how to explain this to someone. Particularly with the stigma attached to stimulants.
How do I disclose? When should I disclose? What problems/reactions am I likely to face?