How do I get this sadness/anger meld to stop?
October 17, 2012 12:10 PM Subscribe
[emotional blathering filter]
YANAT, but I need a little help untangling my jumbled feelings.
How to deal with deep feelings of resentment and sadness and get back to focusing on what's really important to me?
posted by Calicatt to human relations (12 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
This week has been hard. Coming home with headaches pretty much every day. Woke up this morning and the first thing I did is cry. I was just so, so, SO tired and angry. I am doing a lot (working full time, taking a grad-level class, writing a novel) but I LIKE doing a lot, actually I much prefer it to doing too little, in which case I become prone to depression and stagnation. So I don't think it's the "stress of doing a lot" that's getting me down.
Someone very close to me recently confided that they are really depressed. They are seeing a therapist and taking meds, but so far it's still biting. Likewise my mother (who has suffered suicidal depression and probably borderline personality disorder...and has ms to boot) texted me that she was feeling like "a mess" and we ended up chatting online and she admitting to feeling depressed and she's going to go see her doctor again. I've only recently gotten my own depression (mostly) under control (with Wellbutrin) after many many years of struggle.
I think part of my anger is feeling like everyone gets to confide in everyone, but I don't have anyone to talk to. I saw a therapist for many years but felt like we were stalling out and besides there was some insurance bs, so I stopped. I could easily start up seeing him again (parted on good terms) but obviously that option doesn't sound very appealing to me, or I would have done it by now. I could get a new T, and maybe I will, but I keep hoping this feeling will pass or that there's something I can do that will make it pass.
I have a lovely bf (of five years) but his schedule is pretty much opposite mine, and even if it wasn't I wouldn't feel comfortable dumping on him as he has his own trouble going through a career shift. (so I just dump my feelings on the internet, haha)
My mother used to dump her feelings on me a lot because she had no friends and no one else to confide in. I think this is where the undertone of resentment is coming from. But this is not what I want. I REALLY want to be a supportive person to the person who told me about their depression. If a friend confides me, I want to feel closer and empathetic, not get this immediate "Oh, shut up! Deal with your own damn problems" knee-jerk response. I know this comes from my mother/childhood issues, but knowing that doesn't help me feel any different.
I have a great job right now, but I wake up feeling resentful that I have to go. I want to work on my novel, but my head hurts and I feel sick of working on it.
TL;DR Basically, how do I release feelings of resentment when people need my support, and how do I learn to feel better asking for (and HOW do I ask for) support from other people?