Engagement ring or bridal set?

October 17, 2012 7:59 AM

Do I give her the whole bridal set or just the engagement ring?

I chose the ring as a set because it looks really neat all together (I think it's what they call a scaffold- the engagement ring slides into the double-banded wedding ring. The engagement ring alone looks really nice, but I fell in love with it as a set).

When I pop the question, should I just have the engagement ring in the box, or the whole thing?

posted by anonymous to human relations (12 answers total)

Just the engagement ring in the box. You can show her the band post-squee-ing.
posted by animalrainbow at 8:05 AM on October 17, 2012 [9 favorites]

Yep, just the engagement ring. Good luck with the proposal!
posted by Defying Gravity at 8:07 AM on October 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

Definitely just the engagement ring, and I'd wait to show her the band until the next day. That way, you get more squees, and the band won't be anti-climactic, if that makes sense.
posted by Specklet at 8:15 AM on October 17, 2012 [5 favorites]

Just the engagement ring. Good luck, we are all counting on you (to come back with a non-anon update when this works out).
posted by sparklemotion at 8:17 AM on October 17, 2012 [2 favorites]

I have a set somewhat similar to what you're describing. It's not a scaffold, but my band has a little notch that the setting on the engagement ring slides into so that the two rings have no gap between them when they're on my finger. It has a similar streamlined look to the scaffold set. Anyways, my husband proposed with just the engagement ring, then later described the set to me.

Good luck!
posted by pecanpies at 8:28 AM on October 17, 2012

Just the engagement ring, for sure. Once you've both come down from the excitement of the proposal, you can let her know that it's part of a set and that there is a matching wedding band. As a few others have already said, I'd wait until the next day to show her the band.
posted by asnider at 9:16 AM on October 17, 2012

Just the engagement ring first, yep!
posted by limeonaire at 11:41 AM on October 17, 2012

Just the engagement ring!

Good luck!!
posted by windykites at 12:31 PM on October 17, 2012

Yes, she will be very excited by the engagement ring and even more excited when you show her how the set fits together later. Good luck!
posted by stoneandstar at 12:52 PM on October 17, 2012

As an unmarried dude, I always assumed that you gave her the engagement ring when you popped the question, and the matching wedding band when she says "I do".
posted by THAT William Mize at 1:57 PM on October 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

As others have said, just the engagement ring. And then, a day or so later, when she's gazing at her hand and murmuring something about "it's so beautiful, sweetie" you can say "oh, and let me show you how great it looks with the wedding band that goes with it!"

Best wishes! (And do please let us know how it goes — the mods are always willing to post updates if you don't want to post an update under your username.)
posted by Lexica at 6:56 PM on October 18, 2012

From the OP:

She said yes! ^_^

I gave her the engagement ring after a romantic scavenger hunt through her soon-to-be-home ending with a proposal spelled out in a Wordfeud game (where we met!) and she thought it was beautiful and perfect and gave many squees of joy. Then she was excited and happy and gave many squees all over again when I later showed her the matching wedding band.

posted by mathowie at 6:41 PM on October 31, 2012 [3 favorites]