What's the loving thing to do?
October 16, 2012 7:32 AM Subscribe
When to tell other people when someone is very very ill?
posted by miles1972 to human relations (45 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
There is someone I know who is very ill, let's call her G. G has cancer that is now in her liver. In my experience pulling out of that is very rare. She is currently doing some experimental treatments, as that is all that is left for her to do.
G is a hero of mine and many others for what she has done in our community. I've met her a couple of times, but we aren't particularly close.
My friend, L, told me about this, as she is now G's primary caregiver. L told me that G is not sharing the news, as partly she doesn't want to have to deal with other peoples' emotional responses.
I know that many many people in our community would want to know about this, so that they could reach out. I feel like I want to tell people, so that they send love G's way. Part of me says this is more important than G's stated wishes. But even writing that makes it seem wrong.
If I could share this with everyone anonymously I might, as I don't want to betray L's trust, and ideally everyone just reaches out to G without any reference to what's actually going on.
Do I have an obligation to respect a sick woman's desire for privacy, or is the obligation to tell people so they can send love her way before it gets too late?